Why do women need rules for dating? As men well know for him to get what he wants, he needs to play by your rules. Which means that you set the ground rules for the relationship and how you will accept being treated. All too often fear can step in and you can start compromising what you want and what makes you feel safe to stay in the relationship. If this happens you may be coming at this from a place of ‘needing’ and you will continue to experience more reasons to be in need. So remember that you are looking to have your needs meet from a place of abundance not need.

For him to know how you are wanting to be treated you will need to tell, otherwise you can’t blame the poor guy when he doesn’t delivery to your expectations. Just as all men are different all women are different as well, so communication is key. It needs to be the right kind of communication and you will have to express what you need in a way that doesn’t make him feel that he is wrong. Just because you may be looking for something different doesn’t mean he is wrong by doing what he is doing. He will certainly be on the lookout for clues.

Communication in Key

In communicating what you need, try not to dominate. By that I mean don’t tell him how to do things or he won’t respond. Dating is a dance, and in dancing men lead and women follow. So set the ground rules but then let him take it from there, tell him what you need but not how to deliver it. Let him bring himself into the relationship and see how he shows up for you. He might just surprise you.

The river runs the both ways. If he is making an effort and doing well then give him some credit and let him know that what he is doing is working. Just as you want to feel good in the relationship so does he, and a little bit will go a long way. Give him credit for the effort he is putting in and he will no doubt put in more effort. Or you can go the other way and criticize him for not getting it right and watch him put in less and less effort and eventually pull away..

The bottom line: It is well know that reward works much better than punishment. As humans we will always move toward pleasure and away from pain. If you choose to criticize and he disappears don’t wonder why! Try rewarding him for his efforts and see how he reacts. Remember just as there are dating rules for women, men also have rules for dating. Do you know what the one thing is that is more important to men than sex?