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Let me start this article off by saying that I completely understand where you're coming from. Well-meaning folks tell you to "just get out there and stop being so shy."
I bet you want to scream at them because it's sure easy to say those words but nearly impossible for you to do them.
Anxiety is a big item when you're shy. You aren't exactly sure what to say and since you haven't had a ton of success, every little negative she puts back at you is blown out of proportion in your mind.
What I mean by that is you have a "here we go again" mentality when talking to her, that is when you can get the courage to talk to her to begin with. If she looks away or starts giving you one word answers, you are completely not equipped to deal with it and you sulk back to your friends with a "see, I told you I couldn't do it" type of response.
So, this dating tips for shy guys article is all about getting over that anxiety and getting a more devil-may-care attitude. On the dating women radio show I co-host, we have several tips we offer guys in your situation (or a friend of yours).
The first thing to keep in mind is that if you don't go over and say something, it's an automatic no. It is likely you will never see her again and by keeping your mouth shut and not trying, you are saying no to yourself before she can. I get that rejection is uncomfortable but rejecting yourself by not trying is ultimately the worst thing you can do in your life. By going over to her, you at least give yourself a shot and that's all we can ask for in life is a shot.
Secondly, if I gave you a million dollars to walk over and talk to her, could you? At that point, you wouldn't care, right? You could have her tell you that you're the biggest jerk in the world and you'd be thinking, "I'm a jerk that's now a millionaire baby!"
Third, and most important, you need better product knowledge about her and to offer a better product to her.
All right, what do I mean by that? Let me explain. Remember earlier when I said well-meaning friends just want you to walk up to her and talk? That's great, but what if you don't really know what's going on with women? It would be like going into a new job and they just plop you in the middle of the action on your first day. You'd be lost, right? Sure! Same with women. Some guys are naturals. Most aren't. If you're a shy guy, you have to work on this stuff.
To get more product knowledge about her, study those that know about women. Ask your friends that are good with women what they do. Ask women what they respond to (be careful with this though, what they say they want and what they actually respond to can be 2 different things) and study programs of experts in dating women advice. Again, you need to train yourself to understand more about women. Just as you get more comfortable in a job as you know more, your shyness and anxiety will diminish as you know more about women. We tell guys on our dating women radio show all the time that they need to study dating and relationships and not "wing it."
As far as a better product goes, be the best you can be. When you go to buy a car, in which scenario are you more likely to buy in? The rundown dealership with the dusty cars where no one comes out to greet you versus the modern facility with a well-dressed, friendly salesperson that shows you 5 or 6 clean cars in your price range.
You need to be in the best shape you can be, wear stylish clothes and have the sharpest personality you can, developed through comedy classes, reading of mind-expanding materials and more. You know those commercials that feature "the most interesting man in the world?" I'm not saying you have to be a jet-setting rich dude, but it would help if you'd play less online games and go to more seminars.
The bottom line, if you are shy guy, you can overcome your shyness and anxiety, but you do have to work at it!
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