First of all, I’m acknowledging that hate is a very strong word but a lot of guys have very strong (negative) feelings about their ex-girlfriends.

I do understand that getting rejected can inspire a heavy emotional reaction (because most of the time women are rejecting guys), but step back for a second and realize the long-term harm you’re doing yourself because of the following reasons:

One: Your ex-girlfriend, especially if she dropped you, does not care about you. I know that line probably made you more angry but realize that you are nothing but an afterthought to her. You’re on the verge of getting blood pressure pills and anxiety medication and she’s out laughing with a new guy. Why should you ruin your life and time over someone that no longer cares?

Two: It is likely the fault of your bad relationship result resides with the man that stares back at you in the mirror each morning. You did one of two things to lose your relationship. You either selected the wrong girl to begin with that didn’t have high interest level in you or you treated the right one wrong. Often guys change from the man she fell in love with. You might have become more possessive and jealous, took her for granted, stopped having fun in the relationship or ended up as the couch potato from hell. Bottom line, you have to bear at least some of the responsibility for your breakup.

In addition to what is written above, hate means you still have feelings for her. If you were truly moving on then you wouldn’t have feelings about her one way or the other. You’d have a random thought that included your ex and it would be fleeting. Hating her means you still love her and it is bad to stay in the past.

Take all the energy you’re burning up wishing bad things on your ex-girlfriend and channel them into real self-examination as to what went wrong (selecting the wrong girl or treating the right one, wrong) and work to improve yourself.

She is not the last girl you will ever date but if you don’t pay attention to the mistakes you made, you are doomed to repeat them. Besides, your new girlfriend will appreciate the more in shape, funnier and intelligent you. Yes, you will be more cut, humorous and smart if you take that hatred and channel it into positive outcomes.

Hating your ex-girlfriend is ultimately a counterproductive activity and you can learn to overcome it with actively pursuing positive things in your life. We have several callers on our dating women radio show that have suffered bad breakups just like you but they’ve come back stronger than ever because they’ve worked at it.

Remember guys, hating your ex-girlfriend is not something that time will heal. Only you can do it. Start now.