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Getting Over Your Dating Slump
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Many of us women have found ourselves in a dating slump.  We either stopped attracting the right type of man to date or haven’t been asked out in so long that dating is no longer a priority in our lives.  It can be very frustrating and confusing at times; you’re a beautiful woman with a great career and so many qualities and yet still you haven’t met the man of your dreams or you met him but he doesn’t know it yet.  Typically we women meet a guy we like, date him for a while, and just wait until he’s ready to commit to something more.  Unfortunately, most of these men don’t commit and we’re left feeling stuck in our dating slump.  Or maybe you’re one of those women who decided “it’s time to date another guy” and then you meet the next one and go through the same thing over and over and over again.   I’m sure you’ve asked yourself “When am I going to meet that special guy who actually wants to be with me?”  Perhaps, it’s time to start looking at dating from another perspective.

So many woman think that dating is motivated by the heart, but really and truly, love is motivated by the heart where as dating is more of a sales pitch.  I know, I know it sounds a little like that movie “Pretty Woman” if you know what I mean and you may be asking yourself “I’m not an object that goes on some market for sale, am I”?  Well now, let’s think back to the last time you were job hunting.  Did you only go on one job interview and then wait for them to hire you or did you apply for many jobs, attend a slew of job fairs and go on God knows how many interviews? I’m sure you put yourself out there, and raised the bar by putting on your best face to make the best impression to get the best job for you.  Well that’s exactly how we’re going to get you out of this dating slump!

Exposure & Confidence

First off, you have to always be ready to meet the man of your dreams (remember how you put your best face for your job interviews).  Who’s to say that you can’t meet that special guy in your neighborhood supermarket while you’re out food shopping or at your local Cleaners where you’re dropping off your power suits?  We don’t know where, how or when we’re going to meet Mr. Right and we don’t have to know the details, we just have to be ready for it.  I’m not saying put on your Manolo Blahniks and Chanel dress to go run some errands but definitely be prepared and make you feel good at the same time.  When we look good we feel good and when we feel good we have confidence and that is the first thing men look for in a woman…Confidence.  Remember, that we women are all beautiful in our own way and when it comes to outer beauty; it’s all about accentuating the “goods”.  If you have beautiful legs, wear more skirts instead of pants.  If you have luscious lips, bring them out with a new color lip gloss that you love. 

Ok so while you were at the post office dropping off some package to somebody, somewhere, you spotted this great looking guy checking you out.  Of course he’s checking you out, you’re gorgeous and you know it and because you know it, he knows it.  You give him that look, you know the look, where you smile then look away.  “That look” is kind of like an invitation for a man to spark up a conversation with you. So you start dating this guy but he is not the only man in the world, definitely not, and he is also not the only man interested in you and more importantly, you’re probably not the only girl he’s dating.  I would suggest dating 3 guys at a time; more than that is too time consuming and won’t afford you the opportunity to really get to know these men better. If you should happen to stop dating one of these guys then you can add another one to your list until you meet Mr. Right.  Also, when you date only one man at a time, you’re limiting your options and YES ladies, we do have options so don’t pin your hopes up all on one guy. Plus he will soon figure out (all by himself) how much you’re desired by other guys which will bring out his natural competitive nature.

No Sex Rule

Now it’s great that you’re beginning to come out of your dating slump but remember that this is just dating, there is no sex during this time (at the very least a month or two).  Do whatever you have to do to ensure your strict no sex rule with any of these guys no matter how much you like them.  I’m not telling you to play the tease game with these guys, believe me the man of your dreams will not appreciate that nor am I telling you to play any mind games.  The reason why I say “No Sex” while dating is because, it gives your guy the opportunity to find out what a wonderful woman you really are, after he really gets to know you then sex is more of a bonus or better yet another level of intimacy. It also gives you the opportunity to know him better and who knows, maybe you realized that he has some negative tendencies that you just can’t deal with, now aren’t you happy you didn’t have sex with him.

Self Worth

During this whole dating period, make sure that you are being treated the way you want to be treated. If you’re not sure how a man should be treating you then think about your sister, best friend, niece or daughter, how do you want a man to treat them, think about that and that is what you should expect.  If one of your guys had a date with you Saturday night and you found yourself stood up, cut him off the dating list (at least until he learns his lesson). I know it sounds ruthless right, what if he couldn’t make it because his dog died or he ran out of gas or he had to take a relative to the hospital. Well ladies, I’m going to tell you this much, if your guy has offended you by doing something stupid like standing you up then you need to show him the consequences early on.  The consequence is losing you, that’s right losing you is a big consequence.  Remember that you are fabulous and wonderful with so much to offer, so losing you is truly the consequence.  You don’t need to call him up and tell him what a jerk he was for not showing up, or scratch his new car with your house keys, him not dating you anymore has told him all he needs to know.  Either he’ll realize what he’s done and make up for it, which is fine if you really like him (just don’t make it easy for him) or he’ll move on and if he does…Good Ridden and replace him!!! 

Getting out of your dating slump is all about confidence, exposure and self worth.  Remember that dating you should be like a job interview for a Fortune 500 company with awesome benefits, in this analogy you are the Fortune 500 Company that he wants to work for. During the dating period you are displaying to him all your great qualities and he is trying to “sell” you on hiring him, so let him “woo” you because you are too wonderful to hire just anyone and more importantly you deserve to get out of this dating slump.  


Street Talk

dating 3 guys at a time sounds more than enough

Reply
  about 9 years ago
Thomas H  

It was interesting to read an article about dating from a woman's perspective. :)

Reply
  about 1 decade ago
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