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How Much Chemistry Do You Need In A Relationship
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How Much Chemistry Do You Need In A Relationship

Chemistry is very important for a relationship, but there can also be considerations of too much chemistry or not enough chemistry. After listening to an audio by Dr. John Gray who wrote the famous relationship book ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ I realized that what he had to say regarding relationship chemistry made sense. There are relationships where too much chemistry or not enough chemistry can cause conflict later on. How do you find a balance?

Have you been in a relationship where from the very first date, you had a strong attraction towards the other person? Perhaps you thought they were so attractive that you were even open to jumping into bed with them on the first or second date. Too much physical attraction in the beginning of a relationship can be a sign of just lust.

When you have a strong initial attraction like lust, you realize that the longer you are together, the less you have in common to last long term. The more time you spend together, the more you realize that they aren’t interested in the things you are interested in.

So you might start off ignoring the things that you really want to do because you just want to be with them doing things that they want to do to keep them happy. This is where the conflict and resentment will start because you aren’t being yourself. You aren’t being honest and speaking up about following your own things that you enjoy.

If there isn’t enough chemistry, then the passion will slowly go out the window. This is where you might be staying in the relationship because they are such a nice person. They treat you right, respect you, spoil you and are always there to assist and support you with anything.

So there does need to be enough attraction that you do enjoy their kisses, touches and eventually leading to the bedroom. You should enjoy the physical touch and you should be able to look at them and think how cute they are and you can’t wait to kiss them again. But if you really don’t find them attractive at all to look at, then that’s when you need to move on. There should be some chemistry to begin with.

Chemistry can improve with time as well, because if you initially think they look ok, then the chemistry can jump up more after a kiss, romantic gesture or if they do or say something really sweet.

I remember when I knew a guy at work who I thought was arrogant until we ended up accidently being together at a group date with friends, but no other friends turned up. I couldn’t wait to get away from him, but when I told him I wasn’t interested he ended up opening up to me about his life and how people viewed him differently than who he really is. This completely changed my view and attraction towards him, as I now saw him as a kind and loving person.

Dr. John Gray in his audio from The Ultimate Soulmate Summit Series talks about the four different types of chemistry found in successful long term relationships. If you find a relationship where you have physical chemistry, mental chemistry, emotional chemistry and soul chemistry, then it's a great base for having a soulmate relationship.

Physical chemistry = great attraction towards each other.

Mental chemistry = challenge each other’s opinions, having stimulating conversations and being interested in each other’s thoughts and perceptions about life.

Emotional chemistry = caring about the other person's feelings and happiness, as well as your own.

Soul chemistry = connection on a higher level, share the same values and have a similar outlook on life.

If you find there isn’t enough physical chemistry in the beginning, give it time and see if your feelings towards them change. This can happen over time from becoming aware of their other important qualities. If you still have trouble being attracted to them, then it might be time to move on. But think about the 4 types of chemistry and how you can incorporate them into your current relationship or as a building block for a new relationship.

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