If you are searching for how to be yourself in a relationship, it makes me believe that you know that you are not being yourself and would like to change that?

I have had this same feeling in past relationships where I know I wasn't being myself. You feel like you are trying so hard to make the other person happy that you yourself end up being unhappy and exhausted. So I would like to share with you what I learned from past experience and the conclusion I found, of how to be yourself and be happy.

I realized that because I wanted to be in a relationship so desperately, that I was settling for men who weren't compatible to me at all. I was doing everything to make them happy. I would bring them gifts, clean for them, cook for them, come whenever they called no matter how late it was at night. I would also never speak up when they did or said something that made me feel hurt.

So why did I want to be someone else?

To just keep pleasing the other person?

Why?

In case they would leave me?

This only built resentment within me towards them and after a few months I would eventually snap back by yelling after build up of so many things I did for them, that I didn't really want to do. I was giving so much of myself and my time and not getting anything back. I had them on a pedestal because they were interested in me for a relationship and because I didn't have confidence in myself, I thought this might be the last chance of someone wanting to have a relationship with me. But, after my outburst, they would stop calling and seeing me anyway. So I would be back to square one.

It actually felt better to be single because I could be myself. So how to be yourself in a relationship became a mission for me to fulfil if I did want a successful and happy relationship. I didn't realize how I learned all this until I did meet my dream guy. He didn't live in the same state, so when we finally met, we had no intention of a relationship together and I despised long distance relationships. I believed that being myself meant that a guy wouldn't want to be around me, but I was wrong.

I was naturally learning how to be myself in a relationship by trying to push him away because I didn't want a long distance relationship. I wasn't trying to impress him, and he wasn't trying to impress me. He actually wasn't even looking for a serious relationship at the time. We just fell in love by enjoying being ourselves around each other.

Some other processes I learned about how to be yourself in a relationship included personal positive affirmations about yourself. Also if you always be honest with yourself and others, then you can only continue to be yourself. When something your partner says or does feels hurtful towards you, try to explain why it feels hurtful and let them know that you are just being yourself and explaining your feelings about the situation. This also teaches you to listen to your own feelings and what they are telling you in each situation. Then you can explain it as best as possible to your partner without having to yell or get angry.

Understanding how to be yourself in a relationship also includes following your interests and passions that you enjoy. Because when you are happy within your own life, it makes it easier to be happier and more understanding in a relationship. So make sure you put time aside everyday to follow up on a passion or interest which excites you and you really enjoy.

Another important aspect of how to be yourself in a relationship is to write a list of goals of what you want to be, do and have no matter how small, large or silly they may sound. You don't have to show them to anyone else, but we do become more empowered when we are working towards something. Especially when the goals are linked to your passions of who you want to be. You will be a happier person when you are working towards a goal and this will benefit your relationship with your partner because you will be happy even when you are not together. Then you can work on goals together as a couple as well.

So, learning how to be yourself in a relationship is really the basic of a great relationship from the start. You are completely comfortable with yourself and they will love you for who you are. Your partner is completely comfortable with themselves and you will love them for who they are. Every relationship will have issues, but it makes it just so much easier when you are both honest from the start of the relationship, because you were both being yourselves.