Most of us have been rejected or been through a break up during our lives at some point. I never found them easy to deal with, but over time I have learned ways to help me get through them. Also spending a fair bit of time studying self development I have also learned that everything happens for a reason and it's how we deal with these hurts that can assist us to keep growing to a better understanding of ourselves and others. So hopefully something I share may help you to know how to deal with rejection or a break up.

I know when you are hurting, you think of ways at getting back at the other person, but this never works. Every hurt that we encounter is trying to teach us something. Either something about ourselves where we are learning more about what we like and don't like, or learning about others and why they do the things they do.

So, don't push the feeling down or try to be tough and ignore it, ask it what it is trying to tell you?

What can you learn from this situation?

What's positive about the previous relationship you had?

I learned that I needed to get to know the person more before we got intimate. I needed to make sure it wasn't lust, that we actually have a connection and can be great friends first. So I learned to do that through bonding more together, going out together doing fun things like walking and chatting through the bush, on a beach or around a park. Also seeing them be themselves in fun activities like mini golf, bowling or go-karting. Going for drives to popular places meant great quality talk time on the way there and back. These are just some examples of getting to know a potential partner more before you get sexually intimate. Because if you aren't right for each other and you have already been sexually intimate, then the bonding chemicals released from sex will cause so much more hurt when they leave.

When you are just dating people in order to find that special someone, then a great way I learned to stay on track and handle things like rejection or a break up, was that they weren't right for me. Even if we had of stayed together through my choice, I would of ended up being unhappy anyway. There were signs that we weren't right for each other, but I chose to ignore it. It just felt good to have a partner to share things with, even if we didn't feel completely right together. So a another positive I learned from rejection and past break ups, was to stay on track with what I wanted in a partner and not to settle.

I also remembered that this is how we learn what we love and don't love. I found examples of where I had done this to past partners too. I had rejected men who were really interested, and I had broken up with men who were in love with me. So this hurt will happen to a majority of people on their path to finding their true love.

The main aspect I used to stay positive during those tough situations, was following positive affirmations. Even just searching the internet yourself you can find many lists of these as examples. But to make it more personal, I would change them slightly more towards what I wanted and what I was thankful for. These are so powerful in making you feel better.

Now hopefully you could resonate with what I have shared here on how to deal with rejection or a break up. We also tend to keep that person in our thoughts which can drive you crazy. So to prevent this, keep yourself busy doing things you love and enjoy. Stay healthy with exercise and good nutrition as this can contribute to higher energy levels too. Also don't be afraid to get out there again and start dating. But if you would prefer less hurt the next time round, I would make a strong suggestion to spend a bit longer getting to know them as friends first.