I was involved in a discussion last week with two mothers who were at a loss as to how to stop their 12 and 13 year old daughters acting like they had lost their mental faculties each time they come into contact with a group of boys.

The girls both have older brothers and are used to being around males but for some reason every time they are in the company now of boys their own age spend most of the time flicking their hair and giggling. Also, the makeup goes on and their usual casual outfits change, if they know they will be seeing these boys.

We decided that it was important to emphasize to the girls that boys are people just like them with a whole range of fears and insecurities. We need to try and normalise the boys.

We Need To Teach Our Daughters To Put A High Value On Themselves

It is essential that we have lots of conversations with our daughters about their hopes and dreams for the future from a young age. We need to let them talk about what they think it will be like having a husband and children and get them thinking about the kind of husband they will want.

We need our daughters to understand that they need to know themselves well and love themselves before they can think about entering a relationship as they must have a lot to contribute and give if the relationship is to be successful. They need to understand that they cannot just expect and take from their partners and that no-one has the job of making them happy as this is a personal responsibility that we each have. Our girls need to know that true happiness comes from within, based on who they are and is totally separate to what they have and what they do.

As we speak to our daughters about their future husbands it is important that we focus on the qualities that they will want them to have such as kindness, compassion, love of children, high work ethic, as, when our daughters focus on what they want this is what comes into their orbit.

We need our daughters to realise that many boys that they meet will not tick enough boxes on their list of essentials to be worthy of them.

What Our Daughters Should Be Doing Now

From the time our daughters start becoming interested in boys we should encourage them to get to know the boy for who he is on the inside and let boys know her the same way, so that there is no pretence. Truly knowing someone else is the only way to develop a meaningful relationship and relationships are fundamental to a meaningful life.