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Friday night rolls around and you're getting ready to hit the town with your girlfriends. You're hoping to maybe meet someone new and cool so you get a new black dress that accentuates your figure and pushes up your bosom just a little. You left the manicurist an hour ago and your make up is just enough to bring out the features of your face without being too heavy. A new pair of heels rounds off your outfit and you're ready to go! A last glance into the mirror to confirm that you're looking your best and then it's off into the night to attract some eligible men. You are confident that you'll be the one that the guys are trying to approach all night.
Sitting at the counter, you put on your best smile and cross your legs while waiting for your friends. Someone is bound to approach you, there's that smart looking guy in a suit, or maybe that hunky man looking cool in a chic leather jacket... no? No one approaches you as you sit and look around for the twenty minutes it takes your friends to arrive.
So what happened? You did everything right. You dressed your best and put a smile on your face to show that you're friendly and approachable. But that where the problem comes about! In dressing your best to look good for the men, maybe you looked too good.
When men spot an attractive woman on their own, the think one of two things
- She's already taken
- She won't be interested in a man like me
It's sad but true that most men quail when they spot an attractive woman. It takes a man who is comfortable with himself, confident and attractive enough to know that he has what it takes to actually approach an attractive woman. The only thing is, these men are very hard to find. Most men struggle with confidence issues and confidence is what keeps the handsome and attractive guy that you've been eyeing from approaching you.
The other thing is that women who are attractive and dressed to kill are intimidating. You could be as meek as a mouse but your clothes will convey a whole different meaning. The unfortunate thing is that most men stereotype attractive women as cold and aloof and they will shy away for fear of being humiliated.
You may have noticed when you walked into the bar or club that you're the most visually appealing woman in the room. The first thing you can do is to pretend like you don't know it! A woman who is assured and confident that she is attractive will immediately seem like an impossible prize to most men who are just out to scout around and maybe strike up a conversation with a woman who is more 'their level'
Here's what you can do to reduce your intimidation factor and get more people to open up to and approach you.
- Stop thinking about how good you must look and instead concentrate on how good everyone else looks
- Stand up instead of sitting down
- Make eye contact and smile at men. They don't have to be men you're interested in, but just men in general. Most guys will pick up on this and it will subconsciously tell them that you're not what they thought you were.
- Don't hang out in large groups.
If you're doing all of the above, chances are there will be guys that approach you simply because you seem more down to earth and more attainable.
If all else fails and the guy you've been eyeing still doesn't approach you, you can try approaching him. Don't be apprehensive and afraid. Men respond very well to being approached simply because of the stereotype that girls don't approach guys. If you approach a man, you immediately make him feel special and validated in your eyes and he will be much more open to talking to you.
There is more to men than looks and physical attraction. Learn how by saying the right things, you can make him irresistibly attracted to you and want to see you again for your personality and wit instead of your physical attributes!
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