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Killing Them Softly: Why Some Guys Just Can't Take A Subtle Hint
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Killing Them Softly: Why Some Guys Just Can\'t Take A Subtle Hint

There are times when you just don't want to check your online dating messages any more. This was one of them. There was not one, not two but five messages from the same man, an increasingly bizarre litany of weirdness that resulted in him getting one terse reply and then finally, blocked. There is only so much insanity you can take from a random stranger, right?

The first message from this particular fellow was a pleasant hello, I like your pictures. The second, which came in about ten minutes after the first was a little testy, asking why there had been no response at all. The third was something along the same lines with a little bit more strong wording. Again, only about ten minutes or so had transpired between the messages. So far this man, who I have never met or talked to in my life has invested about twenty minutes in conversing with me. That fact is important because it is about to get very, very amusing from here.

In message number four, this man, a complete stranger to me, decided that he would critique my "lack of modesty" and wonder about my life's "path". He had obviously taken some exception to my inclusion of a picture in my sports and crop top, my progress pictures for my workouts. I was amused but only briefly and then I was angry. It was my intention to do what I always do when I get a message, that is read his profile and see where he lived. If they are very far away from me or a completely incompatible type based on their profile, I will send them a message that gently reminds them of the distance or subtly remind them that we have very different interests and hobbies. Most of them are perfectly fine with this information.

First I addressed the impatience with this man. Seriously, man, you waited all of ten minutes before jumping down my throat for not replying to you. I work. I have a child and I have a dog. I have interests that extend beyond staring at the screen of this computer until my eyeballs glaze over. I am sorry I was not magically alerted to your message. Then I addressed the more egregious of his missteps. The fact that he, a complete stranger, felt that he should tell an adult woman anything about modesty on a dating site is just too funny for words. I told him in no uncertain terms that I did not choose the photos with him or his kind in mind and that if he thought that my gym wear was immodest he was certainly not going to like Naked Sundays or topless grocery store runs (not a real thing). I didn't need him to give me "direction" on my life's path because I was not lost. I don't really care how he felt about any of that and I will never know.


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