Let me start by saying that I hope the title of this article does not offend you. I don’t mean to insinuate that if you are not cute or good looking enough, you do not stand a chance of being successful in the online dating world. That’s not what this article is about at all. So if you are currently or think that you will be in the near future using an online dating service, you must read on.

So in the real world I would like to think that “beauty is as beauty does”. Basically, how you treat people and if you have love in your heart, you appear beautiful to others. I would like to think people operate that way. In the world of online dating where you can often scroll through tens of online dating profiles in a sitting, having photos that appeal to people is important. And having photos that literally turn people off, is not about how you look so much. It’s about the photos you choose to display.

Really, trust me on this. I am an online dating profile junkie. I used various online dating services before I found my true love (thanks, Match!) and now that I write about dating professionally, I still look at profiles every day. And I never cease to be amazed by what I see on a daily basis.

So before we get to the less obvious stuff about what your photos may be saying about you, let’s discuss two things that should be obvious.

First, to post pictures or not to post pictures? 90 % of people will not read a profile if there is no photo posted. They are going to assume that you have something to hide. The assumption is that either you are hideous, hideously insecure, or you have something to hide. Like the fact that you are known to be married, for example). When challenged one person told me that they didn’t know anyone with a digital camera. I’m going to go on record as saying if you don’t know one person with a digital camera or a cell phone, I don’t want to date you. You are living in the dark ages, or you think I’m stupid. You need to post pictures to be successful in online dating. Period.

Second, you pictures need to be recent and honest. You may think that when you meet a person the fact that you are 30 pounds heavier or 10 years older than your profile picture will not matter, as the person will be swayed by your awesome personality. It will matter. Even if your personality rocks, your date will wonder if you lied about your appearance, what else are you lying about. It is dishonest and that’s not a good foundation for starting a relationship. There are thousands of people out there available on online dating servies. Someone will accept and love you just the way you are. If they won’t, don’t waste your time with them.

So those are the two most obvious requirements for photos for your online dating profile. In the second part of this article we will look at less obvious things and how you might be sending off the wrong signals without knowing it.