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You are in the park. You see a really cute member of the opposite sex walking their dog. The dog runs up to lick you, you bend down, when you look up your eyes meet the cute owner, you blush, you smile...you live happily ever after.
That’s how people meet in the movies. In the real world, you are more likely looking through online dating profiles to see if anyone takes your fancy. And in most instances, the only things you know about a person is what is in their profile. If you are not getting the results you want from online dating services, if you are not getting the interest and attention you deserve, then chances are your online dating profile is not showing you to your best advantage.
Here is some solid advice on how to have a great online dating profile. Some advice, and one simple winning trick. Read on and learn how to change your profile from a kiss of death, to a date magnet.
First, the trick. Note - this only works with online dating services where you can browse the database (services such as Match) not where the services provide the matches for you (for example, Chemistry and eHarmony). If you are signed up with a matching service, just log on to a free service such as Plenty of Fish and try the trick. Obviously, these people aren’t your real competition but it will at least give you an idea.
So here’s the trick. It boils down to checking out your competition and seeing what you find appealing. Who else is available in your area and how do they present themselves.
All you have to do is log in as a member of the opposite sex. For example, you are a 45 year old woman, 5 ft 5 inches living in a certain zip code. You would log in as “ a man looking for a woman” and under search criteria you would put in your own age, your height, your zip code etc. See who pops up. Are you even on the first page? How’s does your competition size up?
First comment I have is - do not panic! In all likelihood there might be some profile pictures of people there much better looking than you. Maybe the pictures aren’t recent or even truthful, and it’s not a deal breaker. I have looked at photos of stunning women and then as soon as I read their profile I either rolled my eyes or laughed. Many written profiles are a complete turn off. Same with men. Shirtless pictures that look like they came right out of Mens Fitness. Then you start reading and you realize you couldn’t pay me to go on a date with them.
So that’s the trick. Look at people of your own sex first, see how they present themselves. What sounds appealing. What are they doing that is a turn off? Learn from their mistakes.
Now, what causes a online dating profile to be a turn off or the kiss of death? Here’s a short list. Look through enough profiles and you will know exactly what I mean. More importantly, look through your profile, being brutally honest, and see if any of these apply to you.
Being negative Don’t start off saying you think the site is a waste of time and this is your last shot. Don’t hint at all the baggage you bring with you (example “I am looking for someone who can be completely honest and faithful. I have no time for liars and cheats”.
Being arrogant Avoid anything that hints that you are lowering your standards by using an online dating site. Don’t laugh, trust me I see it again and again. Ladies, don’t write “please don’t waste my time looking for a booty call”. Not everyone may think you’re that cute.
Seeming high maintenance or super picky Example, “I only want to date successful people who can treat me the way I deserve to be treated”.
Seeming lazy or non-committal Too lazy to use spell check? Your just seem ignorant. Too lazy or unmotivated to write more than the minimum 200 words on your profile (classic example “I’m just checking this out, I’ll fill this in later”). You come across as not really committed to the experience. No one wants to waste energy on people who aren’t committed. There are in all likelihood another 5,000+ people available in your area who are committed.
Seeming wishy-washy At least let some of your personality come through. Humor will go a long way.
So go take an honest look at your online dating profile today. Ask a close friend for their advice, if you are unsure. Your online dating profile can be either helping you or hurting you. Make sure it’s helping.
If you want more specific examples, you can access a complete Online Dating Success guide free of charge by clicking on the blue text. Good luck!
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