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Online Dating Success Secrets - Good News If You Don’t Look Like Jennifer Anniston Or Brad Pitt
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We all know that you only get 30 seconds to make a good first impression. In the world of online dating it can seem more like 2 seconds...either your profile picture sparks someone’s fancy or it doesn’t. Does that mean that if you don’t look like a super model you don’t stand a chance? Not at all!

I speak from experience here. My girlfriend and I started online dating with the same service and even though she is way more attractive than me (we’ve been friends over 30 years, I’m over it!) I got way more attention and dates than her. Why? A more charming profile (she’s stubborn and won’t take feedback...if your profile’s not working, change it, honey) and a more open attitude? Maybe.

The answer is more likely the fact that once people have looked at hundreds of profile pictures they realize that what they want for a relationship is something more lasting than a pretty face. So while I good profile is the foundation, how you react when people contact you, or how you reach out o other people is really what determines your online dating success.

Here are some tips to be successful in this area.

First, be yourself, and be gentle with other people’s feelings. In reality, people are looking more for people that are just like them, because they want companionship and they don't want to be rejected. If someone contacts you and you are not interested, have the courtesy to contact them back. Even a quick “thank you for your e-mail. I appreciated your comments but I don’t think we’re a match. Good luck!” can save someone’s feelings and confidence. Maybe you were the first person they reached out to and it took them 3 days to get the nerve to do so.

Next, make sure that you are making an great first impression. Keep these things in mind:

  • In your first contact message, make sure you properly introduce yourself. Provide your name and where you found their profile.
  • Be sure to provide some enticing information about yourself.
  • Include some of your best characteristics and a few of your interests.
  • Keep the tone of the message upbeat and interesting, not dull and boring. Don’t share your sad story of how you ended up on an online dating site!
  • A quick note is fine as long as it begins a conversation and is not just, “I saw your profile, email me.” Gentleman, in the history of online dating not one quality prospect has ever responded to an e-mail that just reads “you’re hot!” That’s just demeaning!
  • Remember you want them to write back to you, so try asking a question.

It is also a good idea to include some nice comments about their profile. For instance, you can say that you notice they liked hiking and that you enjoy it too. Be sure to point out some of the things that you share in common. By doing this it will allow you to keep the conversation going, and develop a relationship with them even at a very basic level. It also lets them know you actually read the profile, not just looked at the profile picture!

Don't worry, first contact can't be stressful, but once you get it out of the way things will begin to move forward more easily. oon you'll find online dating success can be practiced and learned, just like anything else.

So the reality is that in the world of online dating, you do need to have a great online dating profile. But your attitude when responding to people is also key. The bottom line is that people want someone with whom they feel compatible and connected, so don’t get so hung up on your looks. Beauty is as beauty does, right?


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