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Let me ask you the following questions:
Are you sick of seeing the “bad boy” end up with the lady you wanted?
Are you sick of hearing the words, “I just want to be friends.”
Are you sick of her telling you a variation of “I don’t know why I don’t like you romantically. You’re the type of guy I should like.”
Chances are you’ve heard all of this and much more. You probably have given up on trying to figure out women. You probably even figure that the "bad boys" are always going to win out over you.
Yes, you’re probably “the nice guy.”
Well, buck up my friend. I’m about to cure you of your niceness and you won’t have to mistreat women in the process, like you perceive that the “bad boy” is doing.
You see, it is actually all right to be nice to women. Good women that you’re in a relationship with should receive respect, affection and romance from you, in abundance. As long as they’re giving you respect, affection and romance back, you owe it to them to be the best man and lover you can be.
Are you screaming at the screen that you do exactly that?
I’m sure you do.
However, you do it too soon and too much.
Most “nice guys” suffer from the syndrome we call “rushing into rejection.”
You really would treat a great girl, well, great. However, you want to give her the key to your heart before she’s earned it and before you really know her.
Women fall in love a lot slower than guys. You see a woman that you’re super attracted too and you’re smitten. Essentially you lose your mind (like most men, but especially you “nice guys”).
You need to learn to go in slower. Don’t bury her in gifts before date 2, don’t tell her you’d do anything to be with her, don’t tell her how lucky you feel to be out with her, don’t call her every day for a week following date 1, don’t text her all the time (or at all, unless you’re answering a text from her), and the bottom line? Get out of her face!
Make her wonder about you and what you’re doing between dates. That’s the secret the “bad boys” have. They have a “I don’t need you, you need me” attitude. Think the “bad boy” is complimenting her 5x an hour during the date telling her how beautiful she is? No, he’s waiting for her to tell him how much she’s into him.
What “bad boys” have that you don’t is challenge. They will wait 5-9 days to call her between dates initially, they don’t take her out more than once a week, they never take her out on a weekend unless she asks and even then they think about it and basically they let her know via their actions that she is not the only woman in their lives.
Women love to compete with other women and the “bad boy” has that down to a science.
Now, there are some “bad boys” that are truly jerks and they treat women badly. The lady falls in love with his challenge initially but if she’s a good girl, he doesn’t last over the long haul. Of course, if she is screwed up, he does last, but you don’t want a screwed up woman anyway!
Bottom line? Be nice. Don’t be a doormat. Learn to go in slower and evaluate whether or not she has true interest level in you or not. For once in your life lay back and let her come to you.
Stop being the nice guy. When she deserves it, give her a loving relationship. Until then, she’s got to work to be with you as much as you have to work to be with her.
Remember guys, women don’t want the nice guy, they want a gentleman, and a gentleman is not too nice but not too nasty either. He’s perfectly in the middle between the nice (pushover) and jerk (macho boy). The gentleman is the hardest thing in the world for women to find and if you become him, you have a better chance to not hear “let’s just be friends” from her again.
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