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If you have only ever been in relationships that didn't end well, you might be wondering what is a healthy relationship like?
Or you haven't even been in a relationship yet, and what to get started on the right foot?
Or perhaps you are in one now and it doesn't seem easy as there is a lot of conflict?
What does a healthy relationship look and feel like?
Being in a healthy relationship now myself, I have a great understanding of what it feels like and how we achieved that together. A relationship is two people coming together successfully and are both determined to make it work. Both of you don't want to be with anyone else because the other person feels so great to be around. So I'm going to share with you what I have learned about being in this healthy relationship I now have.
I believe that healthy relationships start from the beginning of the relationship with how you relate to one another. We were completely honest with each other from the very beginning. I always thought of myself as too honest, until I met my current life partner. He described in details all the things he liked about me. He also told me all the things about himself which he thought I may not like to make sure I was ok with them too. With him being that honest made me feel so comfortable to be completely honest with him too.
Another part of being in a healthy relationship is that we openly communicated what we wanted in a partner and how we would fit together into having a successful relationship. Initially being long distance, I told him on the first day we met that I can't handle long distance relationships. So we came to an agreement early on by doing pros and cons of who should move so we could be together. It took him then only 5 months to move up to where I lived as we agreed together that it was the better option.
We were also both looking for "The One", not just any relationship. This meant that we were both going to be committed to making the relationship last. Because he wanted to find a soulmate relationship, just like me, he also was reading and studying books on successful life long relationships as well as I was. This meant that he had a great understanding of how women think and how to ask certain questions and how to best communicate with the other person.
A great and important aspect of what is a healthy relationship, is that we both had healthy relationships with ourselves. We both liked who we were as a person and looked after ourselves by being healthy and keeping fairly fit. This meant he had great confidence within himself and I had been working on my confidence a lot too.
This also meant that we both had love and respect for ourselves and our lives. We both enjoyed what we were currently doing for work, while both looking at improving our self development. We were also both open minded towards learning what the other person had to share about what worked well for them when the other person was doing or saying something that the other person didn't like or agree with.
Another important aspect of knowing you are in a healthy relationship, was that we could both be ourselves and we both loved each other for that. Especially when I saw his silly side and he saw mine. We become like kids together at times having fun, laughing and being silly. I have never felt this comfortable ever with any other partner where I could truly be myself and know that he will still adore me.
So to sum up what I know about what is a healthy relationship, it feels like all the above aspects merging into one. These aspects came together over a short space of time, but it felt so right from the very first time we met. It also felt really easy to be with the other person. Because he wanted this relationship just as bad as I wanted it to. So that meant we were both prepared to do whatever it took and to learn whatever we had to learn for it to continue to be successful.
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