Looking Forward

Being a widow at age 25 is very challenging. Being single parent of three children ,life is so hard to think about. But i need to look forward for our future.

My life in the province is worst than simple . W e dont haveelectricity.We just use a petroleum lamp.No electric appliances.Nothing at all.Thats how i started as a single mother of three children.

I automatically awake at midnight .Time to prepare for my rice cake. I have to cook it at 4 am, for my children needs to sell them in neighborhood before they go to school.5:30 rice cakes are done ... ready to sell. I have to wake up my three little childre. My eldest was 9 , second was 6 and youngest 31/2.

I just give them a cup of coffee instead of milk for breakfast, then 2 pieces of rice cakes each before selling. While they eat i prepare myself to go to the farm, to harvest palay.

But before i leave everything was instructed to my eldest. After selling in the neighbohood, my eldest and the second will prepare for school. Classes starts at 8 am. They also need to bring the rice cakes left from selling. My youngest is going to my in laws house.

Afternoon we meet for lunch. My eldest will remit to me the small amount from selling. After lucnh go back to our destination. Me to the farm and my two children back to school. Then we meet again in the evening.

Mourning

Lost of my husband is really hard to accept. Tears falls. Memories flashed back. I almost wanted to just stay on our yesterday. If only i could. Memories of our past i am trying to enliven.

But the real truth i have to move on. Past is past. Lost life had been lost and can never come back. Thaugh it hurts. I have to let go. Thaugh memories are there but its just in my mind now. I have to move on .

And I moved on.