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heart break
full of joy
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granddaughter
time of day
whole time
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family and friends
Tips On Coping With The Loss Of A Parent
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Tips on Coping With the Loss Of A Parent

My Mom was my rock.

She was the one I ran to when nothing seemed to go my way.

When I would want to give up on home schooling my children, she would be right there cheering me on and encouraging me to stick with it and see it through. She was the one that prayed fervently for this daughter of hers.

The one that loved everyone right where they were in life.

My Best Friend

My Confidant

My Everything

Then, on August 13, 2006... she was gone! (Funny how that date came and went for 34 yrs. of my life and meant nothing but now it represents loss and joy at the same time)

Dealing with the loss of a parent is hard, but losing my mom devastated me, after all I was her namesake and named her granddaughter after the both of us.

This year will mark 7 years since she's be gone and looking back over this time I have realized that there were steps I needed to take in order to heal from this heart break.

Things I've learned through the death of a parent.

Tip 1 - Time really does heal all wounds: No, it doesn't go away completely, you'll be left with a scar but I promise there will come a time when the pain subsides and you're able to live each day being happy and full of joy. Knowing the whole time they would want you to live your life being happy.

Tip 2 - It's okay to break down crying: I'll never forget it. It was about a month after my mom passed away and I'm standing at the gas pump, I put in my debit card and it's asking me for my zip code. I couldn't remember my zip code for the life of me. I called my husband balling my eyes out, barely able to breathe and telling him I can't remember my own zip code. People were staring at me, I didn't care. Didn't they know I just lost my mom?

Tip 3 - Having a Support System is Priceless: I am very blessed to have 5 brothers and sisters, a father, extended family and friends that were all grieving with me. Although majority of the time I was grieving alone it was nice to know that at any given moment, no matter the time of day or night, if I needed to talk I always had someone I could call.

Tip 4 - Those that haven't lost a loved one can't relate: It also helps when the support system knew the parent that died. I always found great solace and comfort when I could reminisce about my mom and the other person knew exactly what I was talking about.

Tip 5 - Don't look at pictures & video until you're ready: It was about 6 months after I lost my mom when I was rearranging my bedroom and came across the old home videos. I did what every person does (well I mean the ones that are easily sidetracked when cleaning lol) and started watching them. The first one I put in was of my Mom's birthday celebration years ago.

I lost it! That same gut wrenching feeling swept over me and I fell to the floor weeping as if I had just lost her all over again.

For some people looking at old photos and videos brings them so much comfort but if it brings you to much pain then give yourself take time you need to grieve.

One thing I do want to caution you about... don't allow that time to go to long or you'll never experience the joy that comes from remembering all the great times you had with your parent. There are videos I have now watched and photos I've viewed that warmed my heart and gave me eyes to see some of the traits my mom had, are now the traits I have.

It's all part of the healing process!

Tip 6 - It's okay if you don't think about them everyday: This is something I've never heard anyone say before. It was in the 5th year of mom being gone that I realized I didn't think about her everyday. For about a week I would beat myself up thinking what a horrible daughter I must be, but I was reminded by my heavenly father that I'm to busy living life to the fullest and Mom would have wanted it that way. She wouldn't want me always thinking about her, she wanted me to go on and fulfill my life's purpose.

I can almost hear her laughing at me for being so silly and beating myself up. I'm here to let you know that if you don't think about your lost loved one everyday it's OKAY! You're not alone.

Tip 7 - My Faith was my foundation: I would have to say that my faith in Jesus Christ is what got me through. When I would feel depressed, suicidal, lonely, weak, lost, empty, angry, hurt, scared or any other emotion that comes with the death of a loved one I would run to the scriptures and pray like I've never prayed before. There would always be a release and renewed strength that I held on to during those darkest days of grief. And you know what? God saw every tear I cried and never left my side.

I would have to say one of the best resources for me were books that helped in coping with death and grief. Something about reading others experiences while walking through the process of my own grief gave me hope and a renewed sense of strength. These books were short and always seemed to validate the feelings I was going through at the exact moments I was experiencing them.

I leave you with this...You are not alone and every person experiences the grieving process differently. Give yourself time to grieve and when it's time to move on, pick yourself back up and know that your loved one would want you to carry and on and be happy.


Street Talk

Kymee  

I hope this brings solace to those in need. Great article God bless Kymee

Reply
  about 9 years ago

Thank you Kymee. I pray the same thing. :) Be Blessed, Audrey

Reply
  about 9 years ago

Great Article Audrey, brings back many thoughts from losing my own Parents many years ago and also a thought came to me when reading your article about all the tears, you said God your Heavenly Father saw also He more than saw He has Kept them all in a Bottle every tear we cry it says it in the Book of Psalms, So yes I too know some of what you mean and have Put you and your Family On my Wife Joy and My Prayer List that we Pray for Married Couples every Day when we have our Pray times, We thank Jesus Christ for all He has done for us all, and His continued Blessings on each Marriage every Moment because He says He will Never Leave us or Forsake us, as He is the Way, The Truth, And the Life John. 14:6. All you Married People Be Blessed In Jesus Christs Name Amen.

Reply
  about 9 years ago

You're absolutely right about God keeping them all in a bottle. The link for God sees every tear actually goes to a post on my site that talks about Psalms 56:8 and how God keeps track of all of our tears. Thank you so much for putting me and my family on your prayer list and praying for marriages. It seems like the enemy is on a mission to try and destroy marriages today but we know who gets the victory and we know the Creator who restores all things back to where they are suppose to be. May the Lord Bless you and your wife and strengthen you both as you pray for others. ~ Audrey

Reply
  about 9 years ago

Great article and thanks for sharing something so personal. I lost my dad a number of years ago so know something of what you speak. Great website, too.

Reply
  about 9 years ago

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my article and commenting Rick. That means a lot to me. I'm sorry to hear about your dad. It's never easy loosing a parent. We have my father-in-law living with us and I don't know what my husband is going to do when his Dad passes. It's never easy but we do survive and continue living. Thanks again, Audrey

Reply
  about 9 years ago
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