Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? When I was going through postpartum Hell, I thought it would never never end. I became hopeless, despondent and depressed. I could not make myself feel better. I thought that if i had to go one more night with NO sleep I would just drive my car off a cliff.

What I needed was a good dose of HOPE. I did not think I would ever get better. One place I called for help, rejected me, because I has the WRONG Insurance. I wasn't sure I could go one more day, exhausted and mindless. Every day was painful. I felt like an emotional car wreck.

It was not until my husband came home one day and saw me sitting in a corner, drooling and holding our baby daughter that I recognized the fear on his face. What was wrong with me? I had to do something. What that was, was still not clear to me. It took me a few more stubborn weeks of trying to do it my way and then I became willing to do something different.

I am a survivor and I knew that I would ultimately get "through this too". I had difficulty with the idea of therapy and had been before and thought that going again was just not going to work. BUT, I succeeded and realized that going would be a step towards wellness.

So, I got a list of people from my insurance and just "picked one", which was so unlike me. But I thought, it doesn't matter, just GO. I did. And the woman I met was not someone I liked or didn't like. I was neutral. And that was a good sign. I was able to go and tell her the truth. I didn't care what she thought of me or how nuts I felt. I let it all hang out.

And it's a good thing I did. Cause, eventually, I did get better. I did realize that I was living in a fantasy and that I did not want to accept the reality of the current state of my life. But, little by little, I did. And the little pieces of reality and sanity that I put together during my therapy sessions, eventually gave me hope and the light at the end of tunnel began to grow brighter and brighter until I left the tunnel and got into the sunshine. Fortunately for me the light was not a train, but a new way of seeing things!