This Article is About
anger resentment
negative feelings
road map
Surviving A Divorce For Men - 5 Emotions To Recovery
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

Surviving A Divorce For Men    -    5 Emotions To Recovery

Men begin with an emotional disadvantage when it comes to relationships and their failure. I think the general misconception is we are supposed to brush off these negative feelings and not be affected by heartbreak. If we show our emotions, we are weak and it can be emasculating.

We are the bad guy out of the gate. Whatever the issue may be, we seem to be blamed for the falling out. That is when I realized surviving a divorce for men can almost become literal. We face the feeling and incorrectly receive perception from the outside that it was our fault, when in fact, it is not true.

My divorce was the end of my relationship with the woman I had married. Once I understood this and viewed my divorce as a death to that relationship, I began to understand the natural flow of what mourning should be and it helped me find a way to recovery.

Surviving a divorce for men can be so difficult. Many times you may feel yourself caught up in unfamiliar feelings. You may simply just not understand what is happening. There are so many emotions you are going to go through, it helps to have a "road map" on the general flow of these feelings.

Denial: You don't believe this is happening. There is simply a misunderstanding and everything is going to be ok. You may just brush it off with an "it will pass" thought. Many of us fear change and the uncertainty that comes along with it.

Anger/Resentment: This powerful stage can cause more problems for you if you act on emotion rather than logic. It will be important to stop often and think things through right now. You wouldn't want to do anything that may hurt you later on.

Bargaining: The back and forth feeling of excitement and disappointment can be present. "If I do this, then that will happen", so you get excited because of "this", then "that" never happens. We try to use bargaining as a tool to get back what we think we have lost.

Depression: When all else has failed, we begin to draw inward and may look at ourselves as the problem, when this not true at all. Depression can be a very dangerous stage. If you feel overwhelmed by your emotions by now, perhaps professional counseling would be an option.

Acceptance: The wonderful feeling and realization of what is, is. It may feel that it is going to take forever to get here, but it does eventually come. And when you finally feel that relief from acceptance, you will know it is possible to move on.

As you progress through these stages, you will have a tendency to jump back and forth between them, going from depression, to anger, to bargaining then depression again. This is normal and expected. Just understand this is the natural process that your recovery is going to take.

Surviving a divorce for men will be one of the most difficult stages in your life. But there will always be a sense of accomplishment when you understand what you have gone through and how you can grow from life's experiences.

Street Talk


Thank you! It took me a couple of years to really figure this out, but when I did, it was a HUGE step for moving on!

  about 8 years ago

Well written article! Keep up the good work!

  about 8 years ago
You May Also Like
Lets Talk About Love: How Is Your Money Relationship?
Before you dismiss the connection between love and money out of hand may I ask you to consider this: Imagine money were your lover, partner or spouse, would you still be sleeping together?In coaching sessions ask this question of traders who are going through a difficult spell with their trading.…
  Likes: 0

How To Get A Man Back After A Break Up - Here Is The Secret
The most painful experience in a woman's life is to be hurt by the person, whom she thought to be her twin soul. The first days, right after the break up, are very difficult to go through. In the morning you could barely lift your head off the pillow, just…
By: carthage in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Feb 10, 2012  
  Likes: 24

What To Say To My Ex Boyfriend To Get Him Back
Thinking about what to say to your ex boyfriend to get him back? You've probably been confronted with a list a mile long of things that you should never come out of your mouth if you're trying to get back together with an ex-boyfriend. The list of things that you…
By: Charlotte Jane in  Relationships  >  Communication   Sep 15, 2012  
  Likes: 2

What To Know Before Breaking The No Contact Rule!
Before you even consider breaking the no contact rule, you need to know that there are rules to make sure that you are ready to do so. A lot of people think that they're ready to initiate contact again with their ex when the truth is they're not. If any…
By: Vin Jones in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Jul 30, 2012  
  Likes: 5

Should I Do The Master Cleanse?
Many people around the world are just like me when it comes to cleansing the body. I sit and wonder if I should go ahead and do it or not. I constantly ask myself questions like "what are the benefits", "will I lose weight", "how expensive is it", "how long…
By: David11 in  Health and Fitness  >  Detoxification   May 24, 2011  
  Likes: 0

Watch What You Say at Work
If you have a job, you know very well how it makes you feel. If you are usually very busy at work, time probably passes quickly for you. You may not notice your aches and pains until there is a lull in activity. When you have a few minutes with…
By: Hollie E. Townsend in  Business  >  Career Advice   Feb 13, 2012  
  Likes: 1

My Husband Had An Affair And Got The Other Woman Pregnant - What Hope Is There For Our Marriage?
Extramarital affairs are what is considered to be the ultimate sin in a marriage. In this case, if your husband had an affair, then you will be the one to endure the most suffering. Your husband having an affair with another woman is bad enough, but if she's now pregnant…
By: Lauren Kadarren in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Feb 15, 2012  
  Likes: 2

I Cheated On My Boyfriend But I Want Him Back
So you cheated on your boyfriend and now he's your ex. If you see things from his point of view, it's not difficult to understand why he chose to end things in the heat of the moment. He was hit with the worst possible kind of news. An unfaithful partner…
By: Charlotte Jane in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Oct 19, 2012  
  Likes: 0

How To Cure Stress Eating
Do you often turn to the refrigerator for comfort? Do you find yourself eating for emotional reasons rather than because of actual hunger? Then you need to cure stress eating before it starts to really take a toll on your body and your health. Unfortunately the fact is that most…
By: Hannah Levi in  Health and Fitness  >  Mental Health   Oct 11, 2012  
  Likes: 4

Death Spin Reacting
There aren't many people that realize the wisdom of stopping anger before it gets out of hand. We usually end up in what's called a reaction spiral. It is the tendency to overreact to something, and then to compound the problem by overanalyzing it. Reaction Spiral An example of this…
By: Stephen Rush in  Self Improvement  >  Anger Management   Jul 29, 2012  
  Likes: 0

Painbody And National Identiry
I wonder if it ever happened to you that a situation escalated in such a manner that you could not control your feelings anymore. It was not you, not the real you who was there in that moment. Have you seen your partner, a family member or a friend in…
By: Piroska Varga in  News and Society  >  Pure Opinion   Aug 16, 2013  
  Likes: 5

Moving On - Tips For Getting Over An Ex Girlfriend
A break up can make you feel heart broken and emotional and it’s a horrible thing to go through especially if you are a guy. Guys don’t like to show their emotional side to anyone so they have to go through the pain of getting oven an ex girlfriend without…
By: Lucas Heart in  Relationships  >  Conflict   May 12, 2011  
  Likes: 1

Selfmotive Oneself
How to Self-motive oneself Movitation is very important in our journey through life to succeed in what ever activites we persue to accomplish. As we know that lack of motivation is the single most factor in our failiers.we didn't succeed in something was our lack of motivation.our perfomance and growth…
By: pravin varghese in  Self Improvement  >  Motivation   Jun 22, 2011  
  Likes: 0

Moving On From a Divorce – Spoil Yourself Guilt Free
Moving on from a divorce is not difficult provided that you have self-confidence and empathy for your former spouse. Often we tend to harbor negative feelings for our spouse and we begin playing the blame game. All of our pain and anger is directed at them without addressing our own…
By: Jeff Waltin in  Relationships  >  Divorce   Feb 01, 2011  
  Likes: 0

Thoughts on Writing A Book
As a blogger, I love what I do. I love the freedom and flexibility that a blog gives me. I do not have to write on an assigned topic or submit an article by a deadline. Instead, I get to work at my own pace. Also, I do not have…
By: Hollie E. Townsend in  Writing and Speaking  >  Writing   Jul 13, 2013  
  Likes: 1

Article Views: 2642    Report this Article