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divorce
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personality traits
first three months
ups and downs
roller coaster
dream life
quality time
rest of your life
american dream
mommy
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Tips To Navigate Dating After A Divorce, With Your Children
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Tips to Navigate Dating After A Divorce, With Your Children

Your “American Dream Life” of husband and wife, 2.5 kids, a dog, a cat and a white picket fence are gone. You now find yourself as a either the wife or the husband with 2.5 kids part of the time. While divorce can be hard on the kids, you can use the divorce and dating after divorce as a way to improve your relationship with your children.

Here are a few tips that will help you build a better relationship with your kids and ease your anxiety about the effects of dating after divorce and your children.

  1. Make Sure Your Kids Feel Important – It is so important that you let your kids know they won’t be left or shoved aside when you start dating after your divorce. This is done by making time for them. If you have them every other weekend, don’t set up your dates on the weekends you have them. Make sure you still create quality time with them to talk, play and interact. Your relationship with your kids is much more important than any date you can have.

  2. Keep Your Kids Out of any of your Relationships for At Least 3 Months – It is so important to make sure that any relationship with a new person is even somewhat viable before you start the children on the ups and downs of the dating roller coaster. The three month mark is the first milestone for a relationship. Within the first three months is when the façades start to come down and a date’s real personality starts to come out. In about these first 2-3 months is when major personality traits start to show up, and if they are traits you don’t want you live with for the rest of your life, you will want to end the relationship. Don’t put your kids through the uncertainty and pain of bringing people in and out of their lives.

  3. Don’t Replace the Other Parent – You might not have the highest thoughts of your ex, but remember, they are your child’s other parent. Don’t be on the lookout to bring home a “replacement for mommy” or a “replacement for daddy.” Make sure there is place for all of the adults in your child’s life. By giving your kids the space in their life to have relationships will all of the parents and step-parents (or future step-parents) helps put them in a situation where they don’t have to choose between the adults. They also don’t have to defend one parent to another.

  4. Don’t Try to “Fool Your Kids” They are Smart- The biggest mistake you can make is to violate the trust and respect of your kids by trying to “fool them” into meeting “just a friend” or someone you are meeting for a “business deal.” If you base the initial contact between your children and your possible boyfriend or girlfriend on a lie, the trust is gone.

If you are looking for a committed relationship, the right person should not only be ready to be in relationship with your children, but should be concerned about their well-being. If waiting some time to meet them, or having to hold off a day or two to see you is asking too much, they might not be the right person. Dating after divorce with children does add another layer of complexity to the mix, however they can also be another way to weed out the candidates that aren’t quite the right one for you. Remember, you can have it all – the romantic relationship of your dreams as well as a fabulous relationship with your kids.


Street Talk

Becky5  

I am full of happiness as I smile and write this testimony . I am Beck James , I and my husband was having issues 4 years back and it leads to serious quarrel and fight even before our child we'll fight all night till we separated , but I was so in love with him so I seek for how to get him back in my life and a friend told me about Solution Spell Temple ( solutionspelltemple@gmail. com ) who helped her get he ex back so I contacted and narrated all my problems to him in email and he responded so fast to me and he told me that my husband will return to me and beg me for love forever together in 2 days after he has cast the spell , really exactly 2 days my husband began to call me and begged me for forgiveness . Now we are together and he loves and shows care,concern and appreciates me like never before . Thanks to Solution Spell Temple . Contact him for your solution ( solutionspelltemple@gmail. com )

Reply
  about 6 years ago

Great article. Thanks!

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Thanks for the article. The only caution I'd add is about the 3 month comments. It's important to understand that is "when the façades start to come down." You're still not going to have an accurate picture of your dating partner at this point. If things are going well, it's easy to be so ga ga over him/her that you are blind to any negatives so you miss or overlook things. I always caution people to take things slowly. In my opinion 3 months isn't enough time to be making any major decisions whether it be about the relationship or your kids' involvement in it. Alyssa Johnson, LCSW RemarriageSuccess . com

Reply
  about 7 years ago
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