I spend hours watching dogs and their owners, how the one begins to look like the other. Dogs that get dressed up for their walk with the owner, pretty little pink jerseys for the winter or cool evenings. Big dogs that drag the owners down the street, little dogs that do their best to trip the person on the other end of the leash. Owners with two dogs, being torn apart, one never wanting to sniff the same tree as the other.

What is the message being posed on the tree or pole, passed from one to the other? Each dog on its walk will sniff here and there, and most male dogs will lift a leg and leave a squirt of minimal proportions. This, as in nature with wild animals, construed as marking the territory. How confusing is that for the poor dog on a leash? “hum! When I passed here yesterday I marked this tree, where did all these others come from? No one around now!”

Watch the owner, they will look away and stretch the leash to its total length, so that the dog on the end almost falls over whilst balancing on three legs. Is the dog so self-concious that “stage fright” will stop the flow of urine? Or is the owner embarrassed that their pet would actually execute such a natural bodily function in their presence? But the look of disgust when the dog buckles it's back and assumes the body shape to deposit a “land mine” on another persons lawn, or side-walk.

This is when owners, practiced in the art of observation, will take a cursory glance to see if there are witnesses to the “doggy do”, and if not, half drag the dog along to avoid collecting the deposits. The poor dog, in the squatting position, doing its best to communicate that the movement is incomplete, has to cut short the pleasure and try again further down the road. The conscientious owner will produce a small spade and bag and collect the deposit for disposal, the amount of times I have heard these owners ask the dog “was that now necessary?” you can almost hear the dogs answer “Yes, is this not why we go for a walk?”

Now the meeting of the walkers, and the male to female communication. First a sniff of the upper orifice to check the health, or what ever else gained by this greeting, followed by a second lower check for availability. Owners, mostly oblivious of this interchange, chat away about the weather, only to discover that nature is about to follow the natural performance. The owner of the female dog has probably been wondering why there is a pack of hounds congregating at the fence attempting to gain entrance to the property. The biggest embarrassment, if the dogs manage to progress to the locked in position. Now what to do? No amount of tugging or shouting can separate the two lovers, the exchange between owners, the giggling, the looks of disgust and the embarrassing "chit chat" that follows whilst the dogs do what comes naturally, is entertainment in itself.

The best facial expressions seen on a dog, are from those that have had their hair done, "pony tails" tied with colored ribbons and the dog being placed in an oversized handbag, paraded around as a fashion accessories. These dogs, like cell phones, have become smaller and smaller, and the fashion industry specializing in these dog lines are making good money. I wonder if the reduction in size of these dogs is not because of a reverse evolution, because of the lack of exercise of the dogs four legs.

The celebrities that follow this practice appear to select their dogs, like their cell phones, where colour and size play a big part. Is it possible that when the dog gets upset it deposits a dropping in the bag?

What a thought to close this article on.