Everyday, all over the world, there is a woman out there who is getting beaten every minute, every second, and every hour. There is no one to stop it. You always here on the news about a woman being murdered by the hands of her abuser, and no one says a word. You see a woman being beaten down in the streets, and people look and do nothing. Too many people are afraid to do anything when they see a woman getting beaten. People don't realize that you don't have to be in front of the couple to help them. You can walk to the end of a block or around the corner and call the cops. The rest would be up to the woman to press charges.

Understanding the mind of an abused Woman

We have to understand the mind of an abused woman. They have low self esteem because their abusive husbands or boyfriends constantly tell them how no one will want them, or she can't find no one better than him, which is a lie. The more brainwashed a woman gets, the more they will believe him. It's like they are being programmed . When arguments arise, the woman always takes the blame to keep the peace, but it only gets worse. When the man puts his hands on her, women will make up excuses as to what happened, instead of telling the truth.There are reasons why women stay with abusive men. I mentioned one already. Low self esteem. Another one is they think they can't find another man.They also think that the man loves her. Another reason is because they think things can get better. The most important reason is, because it became a cycle. They went from one abusive relationship to another because that is all they know. Don't get me wrong, there are women who like to be abused. That is sickening.

Understanding the mind of an abuser

Lets take a look at the mind of an abuser. How does one become an abuser. One way is by being taught at a young age that it is okay to hit women. The other way is witnessing abuse in the home. Another way is a person that has anger issues, is more likely to become an abuser. They don't have to hit, but being verbal is abuse as well. An abuser always thinks that the he is superior to women. He thinks that the woman is supposed to do anything he tells her to. An abuser will isolate the woman from her friends, family and kids. He is the only person she can talk to. If he allows her to work, She has to give him all of her paycheck. He controls everything. Some abusers will treat their women like animals. Women are even forced to give up sex. We call that Rape.Abusers don't care about anybody but themselves. Every time they put their hands on a woman, at the end, they wind up apologizing as if they mean it, just to get on the good side of the woman. Abusers love to manipulate women to keep them from leaving. This is the mind of an abuser.

Understanding the Why's

For people who know women that are in these situations, they find themselves not understanding why women put themselves in situations like this. One of the reasons why is because they have never been in the place where they are. So they will never comprehend. I notice that it is so easy for a person from the outside looking in, to have something to say about a woman being abused. They will never understand unless they have went through it themselves. Women who are going through it, need to have some support. So be their support and not something that you can talk about behind their backs. They get enough of that. Domestic violence is not an easy thing to understand.

It's Okay To Leave

You don't have to stay in an abusive relationship or marriage. You can get out. There is no excuse for any man putting their hands on you. It is not your fault, no matter what the argument was about. Men who are abusive to their spouses or boyfriend have a problem with themselves. You are not what that man has always told you. You are a beautiful woman, and any man would be glad to have you. They will treat you the way you should be treated. They will love you the way you need to be loved. Stop making excuses for the man who is abusing you. There is no excuse. He does not love you if he is putting his hands on you. That is not love. Love does not hurt. Love should make you feel good. If you are to the point to where you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, here is how you would leave. Pack a bag and hide it so he cannot see it. If you can, Save some money so you can get on a bus or cab or something. Go to the nearest police department and let them know what is going on. They have to help you. They will put you in an undisclosed place to keep you protected. They will also issue you an order of protection so he can stay away from you. During that process, they will pick him up and charge him for domestic violence. You have to be strong enough to press charges and stick to it. If you don't to it, he will go looking for you. Never let anyone get you to drop charges against your abuser. They would be putting your life at stake. I urge every woman who is going through this to get out. Your life does depend on it.

Be The Voice

Now that you have come out of that toxic relationship or marriage, you are completely healed, you can share your story with those that are going through the same thing you went through. Those who are going through domestic violence issues need to hear your story. Be the voice for those who cannot speak, or are afraid to speak. The more voices, the less murders or less domestic violence issues. We have to take a stand or it will continue. Domestic violence is always being made aware of every year in October. It should always be made aware of 365 days. It should not only be on a specific month. It's best to do it when you are ready to tell your story. Let us all join together and break the silence on domestic violence. One person can start, but it takes many to continue.