This Article is About
domestic violence
hiding in the shadows
acrimony
grandma
neighbors
anger
sunglasses
voices
October Is Domestic Violence Month: Awareness For Everybody
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October is Domestic Violence Month: Awareness for Everybody

There will be no statistics in this article, no dry facts, no hyperbole. Instead, there will the plea for everyone to stop what they are doing for just a minute and think about the people in their lives and recognize the good people and being thankful for them. And for that minute, to think about the fact that domestic violence is not the silent scream any longer, not hiding in the shadows among the topics that we don't talk about in public. It is not something that happens to "other" people. Sadly, domestic violence affects every single person, whether it is directly or indirectly. Every community is affected by it. Domestic violence does not discriminate in any way- not for sex, race, religion or income.

The experts, and there are plenty of those, say that most abusers as well as their victims come from a history of abuse, part of the never ending cycle of abuse. That is probably true, at least in part. But every case is completely different. For me, abuse was something I wrote about, watched television shows about and read about but nothing that I was familiar with. The quiet street I grew up on did not have any of the screaming neighbors that tore the silence of the still nights apart with their acrimony. There were no embarrassed neighbors meeting at the mailbox, sunglasses on whether the sun was shining or not. My own parents rarely raised their voices at each other and when they did it was usually to ask a question from where they were instead of finding the other.

I was twenty. I was twenty and trapped, or thought I was, sick of living the safe life in first my parent's home and then my grandma's. The guy was younger than me and definitely not the safer of any options. The first time he hit me, I was floored, completely and utterly shocked. His anger was so unreasonable, so unexpected and so unjustified that I could not even wrap my head around what was happening. I left, barely aware of what was going on. He apologized and I went back and the cycle began.

It is a long and tragic story, one that few are comfortable hearing and fewer who have been forced to listen. It makes no sense that I stayed and no one who is on the outside would understand it even if I tried to explain. I won't. It doesn't matter any more. I made it out, finally and once and for all. Now, I will do whatever it takes to make domestic violence a topic that we are all aware of, not just for October, but everyday because it affects us all, all of the time.


Street Talk

Thank you for the article... I only wish that there was a way to get some of our true real selves out to the schools to say these things. I was abused -SEVERLY- for almost the entire 23 yrs of being with and married to my ex. It starts out so slightly that it isnt recognized as abuse its thought of as Oh he just cares so much and I did this or that to make him worry/mad/whatever their excuse is. Then comes the physical part, which I wont go into, and the first time he hits you he apologizes profusely sometimes to the point of tears...but then comes the WHY did you make me hit you?! Then more apologizes and most likely gifts. I had so much gold that everyone who saw me asked me where did you find a man like that? I want one who will drape me with gold and diamonds. It went on and I couldnt get away we had children together, I was disabled from an accident so no income of my own, and he controlled the cars, and my friends and family. He pushed them away slowly until I thought that I had done it. He did this so I had no where to go to hide. Or so I thought, I NOW know that I could of shown up and they would of helped me. It took him almost killing me, not ONCE, not TWICE but the THIRD time I finally had someone who came to my aide and got him out of there. That was the last time he has ever touched me. I only wish that all these abused ppl knew that there is a way out, it may take time and planning but there is a way out. Please do it before they kill you. Dont say it cant happen because it can had my neighbor NOT busted the door down and given me CPR I would not be here to write this right now. Thank you for bringing attention to this Amie I am only sorry that you had to live through it to be able to write this article.

Reply
  about 9 years ago

Thank you Amie for sharing, it's hard to!

Reply
  about 9 years ago

Hey Amie, I would like you to know that my daughter has been involved in domestic violence. She is now separated. I do not need therefore,to tell you why I have I employed a lot interest in your article. Thank you very much.

Reply
  about 9 years ago

I am so glad that she is OUT of there... please talk to her or send her to counseling so that she does NOT go back....

Reply
  about 9 years ago
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