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domestic violence
emotional abuse
physical abuse
third time
self esteem
friends and family
Why Domestic Violence Is So Hard To Understand For Everyone
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Why Domestic Violence is So Hard to Understand for Everyone

In the not so distant past, no one talked about domestic violence, at least not in public. Police, if they were even called, tended to chalk it up to "passions gone wrong" and left, often condemning the victim to an even more serious beating. And while yes, there are men who are abused at the hands of their wives, the majority of domestic violence victims are women. And, sadly, many of those women will either die at the hands of their abuser or they will end up taking matters into their own hands. Because not only they find that the law may fail them at the time of the abuse but they may find that it is going to fail them once they get away.

It is not only the physical abuse that is hard to understand for the people on the outside looking in. They may not understand the emotional abuse which is often more visible. What most people cannot understand is how it is allowed to continue beyond the first angry word, the first forced encounter or the first punch in the face. And what they cannot understand is how these victims go back after they have managed to escape the first, the second or even the third time. But, there are many factors that may force them to go back even when they do not want to.

There are three things that tend to force a victim back into a situation that they have previously escaped from: finances, children and pets. Because most victims are women, they are often kept away from their families and most, if not all of the finances are kept out of their names. In the case where the women do have money to get away, the threat of losing the children can keep them from staying away for very long. Women are often told that their pets will die if they don't come back- abusers often attack or threaten the pets to keep the victim in line.

Victims are often told that they will not be believed by anyone and they are programmed to believe that. They are kept isolated from friends and family. They have their self esteem broken down to a level that they truly do believe that they deserve the abuse. Once they have had enough, they might try to get away and may even succeed. Filing documents like protective orders is supposed to make them feel safer, but those are often ineffective, especially in the case of someone who was okay with harming the person they claimed to love.

Street Talk

A very sad thing.

  about 9 years ago
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