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When it comes to building self esteem in children, from my experience, I have found it more beneficial to take an encouraging approach in building a child’s self esteem. Most of us score highly when it comes to developing a child through bringing a role model close in the form of a toy; but, I realized that most of our activities are not really satisfactory and have some loopholes. I hope that you will find something here that will be a plus when it comes to building self esteem in children you will interact with.
From my traditional society’s teachings, there is a saying that goes “introducing a child into this world is no big deal, but bringing up a child is the REAL task.” I believe this has direct implications to child development, and cannot leave out building the self esteem in children.I suppose almost everyone interacts with children and we are aware of how difficult being with some children can be. Furthermore, the biggest shame we can have is to be associated with a child's failure. However, the biggest joy can be seeing the child be successful in whatever he/she chooses to do. This is also highly dependent on building self esteem in children. Here are some of the most astounding things you need to do in building self esteem in children:
1. Beware of developing the ego
Work on building the self esteem of the child and not the ego. It is very easy to get it wrong when building self esteem. We can be working on the ego yet we are not aware. Self ego is based on always winning and not being defeated. Compare these two remarks made to a child after failure.
“How did that happen to you? It should NEVER happen! It has never happened to any of us before! You must find a chance and prove yourself”
“Don’t worry about it for now; it’s not that important for now. You will find a way and be the best soon.”
When considering building self esteem, the first statement shows that being weak is inferior and winning is best. This builds the ego and not the confidence. The second statement builds the confidence of a weak child, despite his weakness.
2. Negative self - talk
Help the child in avoiding negative self –talk. You might not hear a child having a negative self talk, but you can tell. Negative self talk results to withdrawal and sadness in a child. This can be seen. This is normally due to failures, frustrations among other self demeaning experiences. The negative self talk can be overcome by convincing the child that he can succeed in other things. Build the self esteem by engaging the child in activities they like doing and showing them the value of what they can do.
3. Develop Talent
Support the child in discovering and developing their gifts. Building self esteem in children revolves around doing something extraordinarily well. This is only possible in the child’s field of interest. Look for the things the child does best with less struggle and support in improving them and knowing their values. Get a coach or learn to be one, for a start. This will really build the self esteem of the child as he /she becomes excellent.
We all feel happy when we succeed in anything but it is heavenly to be associated to the great upbringing a child can have. Let us then build our society by being part of building self esteem in children.
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I love this. I'm a new mom so yeah, important stuff. I really like the point about helping your kid develop a their talent. Overcoming challenges doess a great dear for any one no matter their age. It's awesome to see the smile on a child when they accomplish something new or something they've been trying to work at a while. Good job writing this!
Thanks Ally. I'm happy you found it helpful
Hey Josh, this article is great and this advice paired up with my 'Psychic Kids" article parents can be prepared for just about anything! I am a firm believer in positive reinforcement. Not supporting your children can lead to more serious issues, such as depression. Thanks for sharing this information :)
Am glad you found it useful. You are welcome.
Negative self-talk is a habit that can be seen even among adults. The most important conversations we make is the one we do with our own self and that is crucial in building self-esteem in a child early on. Great tips Josh! :)
I agree with Steve. I think the negative self-talk is the most important tip in this article. Teaching a child early to not put negative thoughts / words into the universe and especially not about themselves is the best thing you could do to raise a confident and positive minded child.
I like those advice too. I surely apply those things as soon as I'll have a child. Thanks!
Good advice. I especially like the suggestion to help children avoid negative self-talk. That can really be self-defeating and is hard to overcome even when you're older.
Sure, most of us find ourselves having the negative self talk and it's quite a battle getting rid of this. Once we are done we wish someone could have told us this earlier. Kids would therefore be very grateful in future.
good article. Helpful to me since I have 3 little ones
wow, congratulations! say hi to them. I love the company of kids. You are welcome though
Is self esteem connected with the feeling of being the best?
Self esteem has direct relation to confidence. The feeling of being the best has its shortcomings: this feeling can be easily brushed off the moment it is disapproved, especially when a better person than you are shows up. However, I would say that self esteem is connected to being your best and not just the best. This is always proven and can stand the test of time. When I hope I hit the nail on the head Frida, did I?
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