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Beginning The Recovery Process From Abuse, Trauma, Incest
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Beginning the Recovery Process From Abuse, Trauma, Incest

If you are a child of abuse, trauma and/or incest who has survived, you may not know of how extensively the experience has changed you. Perhaps you have violent or explosive reactions to ordinary events. Perhaps you have deep dark thoughts and dreams that haunt you. Why it is so critical for a survivor to reach out for help.

Abuse can be shattering to our whole SELF. One survivor may have only a few areas to heal while another may have to heal his or her entire “self”.

As a abuse, trauma, incest survivor, no matter how much or how little there is to fix or sort through, this should be done without the help of a licensed professional counselor or other license social worker, physchiatrist etc. The complexities of our emotional, mental and physical health and how they impact our physiology and spiritual well-being are not something to be tinkered with half heartedly or whimsically. Your counselor is there to guide you and help you reach your ah ha moments and to teach you coping skills and tools.

I am like a tour guide for the maze of recovery. I am an added bonus to have someone like me who has walked through the maze to the other side. Everything that I share with you is taken from my experience and has been filtered through the eyes of licensed counselors. It is not meant to replace counseling.

Here are some red flags or indicators of abuse (past or present).

Red Flags could be Alcohol and drug abuse, PTSD or Disassociative Disorder,

avoiding intimacy, or if intimacy evokes pain, controlling, or you reenact the

abuse. Do you cut or burn yourself, or are suicidal or para suicidal.

Do you have racing intrusive thoughts, or are you abusing others. Do you

battle depression, eating disorders or other pathologies. Are you attracted to abusive men who control or hurt you. Do you have volitile unstable relationships.

I have listened to many people share their stories the most common thing I encounter is survivors saying with conviction that they are over it and don't need help. Yet as the discussion progresses they reveal they are living a tortured life of eating disorders, depression, pill popping, suicidal behaviors, self destructive behaviors, low self esteem, control issues, victim mentalities, obsessive behaviors, self contempt, rage, and please don't misread me I am not dissing anyone here, my only point is that while all of that listed above and more is a normal part of the after shocks of surviving abuse it is only a part of the process. Recovery has three parts a beginning, middle and end. Well four surviving the event or events is the first not all people survive many become statistics by killing themselves. Either way beginning, middle, end with lots of pitfalls, deadends and resting points to navigate through.

My hope for all survivors is that they all find peace and healing and resume a life full of joy. I hope to inspire you. I hope to help you to empower yourself. I hope to pass my hope and belief you can do this onto you. I hope to share my tools and skill sets with you to help you affect real change in your life which then helps me turn lemons (a lost childhood and innocence) into lemonade and I feel really great for us both.

As much pain as you might be in right now, as badly as you may want to end your own life right now, DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE, grab onto my words like a life jacket and repeat this: "this place I am in is only temporary, right now I do not see a way out but there is a way out and suicide is not the way. I want to live and be free from this pain and I have found a place to show me how to do that. Now I will begin to take back the power that was taken from me. Now I will begin to heal myself and move past this awful place."

Familiarize yourself with the legend of the Phoenix and personify that for yourself. Envision the old you and all the pain being reborn into light and peace.

From the Trenches with Much Love and Encouragement,

The Phoenix


Street Talk

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