This Article is About
relationship
good feelings
negative feelings
important in your life
different perspective
personal power
current situation
love
5 Key Steps To Resolve Difficulties In Your Relationship
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

5 Key Steps to Resolve Difficulties In Your Relationship

People frequently come to me for coaching and advice about how to resolve difficulties in their relationship. In this article, I would like to share with you the 4 most common mistakes people make and how this keeps them stuck. I would also like to share the 5 key steps they take to resolve their difficulties.

The 4 most common mistakes are:

1. To focus on the other person and what they are doing wrong, seeing this as the primary cause of the problems in their relationship.

2. To believe that there is no way to overcome the negative feelings or loss of feeling that exist between them and their partner, rather than realising that good feelings and love can be reborn.

3. They believe that they have no personal power to be able to transform the situation.

4. They think it is easier to begin again with a different person instead of realising that they will simply repeat the same mistakes unless they learn how they have contributed to their current situation.

So, if you are currently experiencing difficulties in your relationship, take a moment to be honest with yourself and reflect on which of these 4 errors you are currently falling prey to. Then read on to gain a different perspective.

Let me now share with you the 5 key steps that you can take to resolve your difficulties. They are:

1. Increase your capacity to influence others. In reality every person has a tremendous capacity to influence the people around them; they simply need to believe that they can. The basis of this capacity comes from developing surety about yourself, staying true to what is important in your life and the values that you choose to live by. The more you keep your focus on the actions you can take and the changes you can make the more influential you will be. Every time we focus on someone else or problems that are beyond our sphere of control or influence the weaker we become. Some of the other steps below then increase your skill at influencing others.

2. Transform the feelings between you and re-develop trust. Have you ever been in a situation when you have felt really angry with someone and yet they responded to your anger in such a way that you just couldn´t maintain the emotion any longer, even ending up feeling closer and warmer towards them? If this can occur in these moments then it can happen with any emotion. The basis of this transformation comes from trust. In these cases the other person nearly always transforms the anger by demonstrating that you and your feelings are important to them and by showing you understanding and respect. They then take the appropriate action in accordance with this understanding and respect. They will normally do one other thing and that is to listen to you neutrally and once the trust is regained to lead the relationship to a lighter or more joyful note.

Of course, your situation may be the other way round and you feel colder or more distant towards your partner. Now, there may be some real issues that need to be resolved, however, there is usually also an element of putting too much emphasis on their faults. It is ironic that in the early stages of a relationship we have a tremendous capacity to filter out any imperfections that the other person might have and in the rose tinted haze of love we enlarge their virtues in our mind. Yet as the relationship progresses we steadily begin to do the reverse. We focus on their faults, giving them great emphasis and grandeur in our mind and somehow all the things they bring to the relationship or do well, seem to get smaller and smaller or even filtered out completely. So it is well within your power to reverse this trend and focus once again on all the positive aspects of their personality and what they say and do.

3. Learn to manage and control your feelings and emotions. Our feelings are essential as they are the life blood of a relationship. They also inform us when things are not going as they should or when there are problems that need addressing. However, too often we ignore the feelings when they first begin to prick us and put off dealing with the situation until it becomes emotional and dramatic. This brings the problem that when you are emotionally charged you are much less intelligent in your communication and ability to handle a situation. Additionally, the emotional charge will be instantly picked up by the other person putting them in a defensive frame of mind. When we are emotional, very little listening occurs and the bed rock of good communication and a good relationship is listening.

4. Use the power of your non-verbal communication to improve your relationship. Did you know that over 90% of what you communicate comes from your body language and your tone of voice rather than the words you say? Therefore, one of the best investments that you can make is to learn how to improve your non-verbal communication and ensure that it says just what you want it to say.

5. Learn to speak in a way that people will listen to you. You can also learn step-by-step how to communicate with your words as well as your body language in a way that people will listen to you. To some people it seems contradictory; however, that this begins with listening to the other person to truly comprehend them. Think about how many times you listen in order to correct the other person or to give your opinion? This immediately reduces their motivation to listen to you. However, in addition, you can learn to become very precise with your words, keeping them neutral and concise. This means you will be clear about when you are giving your opinions, when you are stating facts, when you are expressing your feelings and when you are talking about your needs, desires and wants.

There is so much you can do to transform a relationship which has lost its charm, to rekindle the love and fun. I have had the honour of accompanying many people as they fall back in love with each other again. Although in reality what they do is rise in love together. Whatever happens, what you are guaranteed is to learn how to be really great in relationships which will sooner or later be reflected back to you not only by your partner, but also by your family and friends. I believe that relationships are the source of some of our greatest joys in life and I wish you much happiness, fun and love in yours.


Street Talk

I am surprised by the way you frame the reality of your content as for each line, you seem to stay in the moment until it is gone, truth be told people struggle every day with relationships because of selfishness. When we learn that in any relationship it is not about us but "we", then we would be far on our way to solving our problems; we must recognize the fact that change begins with us first. Don't hold back though my friend write more again, you have some more to share.

Reply
  about 3 years ago

I feel the same way as any other woman with heartbreak and What would I have done if not for DR. Prince, my name is Mrs. Whitney, I am 28. years old and I have a son and A daughter. Unfortunately almost a year ago his father broke up with me because of a mistake I made and I just really want him back. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I wanted our family to be complete again, I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I grew up with my parents divorced and I don't want that for my son and I miss my husband so much and just want our family to be whole again I want the love of my life back and I can honestly say that because he is the only man I have ever truly loved with all my heart. I read on line that he helped a girl in this situation and I contacted him for help So I seek help from grandprinceoflove@ gmail. com and he responded to me and he cast a love spell for me which I use in getting back my husband and I am happy and grateful to him for helping me and I want you all to also have the opportunity I had also, grandprinceoflove@ gmail. com is the only through help I have ever known. Good luck

Reply
  about 4 years ago
You May Also Like
Great Tips For An Awesome Relationship
Everyone desires to have an awesome relationship where they can be loved on and respected for the really are however this not the case in many relationships . Nowadays, relationships feel like a game and people are always anticipating the next move of their opponent and this eventually leads to…
By: Racheal .M. in  Relationships  >  Dating   Jun 04, 2012  
3
  Likes: 5

How To Be Confident In A Relationship
If you want to know how to be confident in a relationship, then you need to understand what confidence means to you. The online Dictionary describes Confident as : "having strong belief or full assurance; sure: confident of fulfillment." To be confident in a relationship, you will have to start…
By: Lauren McEachran in  Relationships  >  Dating   Aug 13, 2012  
0
  Likes: 0

How Can I Save My Relationship With My Boyfriend
If you feel that your boyfriend was truly meant for you, and then you need to do everything possible to keep him? There is no harm in not wanting to let your boyfriend just slip away from you or trying to get your ex boyfriend back. “How can I save…
By: Franklin2 in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Feb 25, 2013  
0
  Likes: 0

What A Man Wants In A Relationship Vs What He Needs In it
The two insights about him that might be the difference between geting an "I do" or a "Goodbye". Is your man sending you mixed signals? Are you sure that he loves you, but for some reason he seems to be pulling away? If so then you will want to read…
By: Bob Lefton in  Relationships  >  Commitment   Apr 25, 2012  
0
  Likes: 2

Relationship After Cheating - How To Rebuild Your Relationship As Quickly As Possible
Is there even a chance of your relationship after cheating surviving? It really boils down to the two people invovled in the relationship. If you both are not willing or able to forgive and forget, than in all likeihood it will not work out between you both. Once lost, trust…
By: Garry2 in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Jan 17, 2012  
1
  Likes: 2

Relationship Can Give Much
Street articles: The phenomenon of relationship is not end to be simply and easily understood. The idea of relationship is an abstract sense. It is never visible but to be realized. It lies in every thing and every creature. It causes changes to human behavior. And the syndromes of relationship…
By: saidul islam sarker in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Jan 09, 2012  
0
  Likes: 1

What You Can Do If Your Relationship Panic Light is Getting On
Your panic light is getting on because your mate has lately changed his/her behavior schemes and you can recognize one or some of the signals of a cheating person. Now you have some doubt about your partner's faithfulness. What can you do? First step: don’t panic. It is very important…
By: Eddie J. Molina in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Dec 20, 2011  
1
  Likes: 1

Tips on When Your Relationship Starts to Fizzle
6 Tips On How To Revive The Passion In A Dying Relationship When your relationship starts to fizzle out, I will show you how to quickly revive the passion and love that you had with your partner. This means a better and more accomodating relationship. Below are some of these…
By: Ken Beaven in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Mar 12, 2012  
0
  Likes: 3

Six Secrets to A Thriving Relationship
How to Make Your Relationship Thrive Great relationships do not just happen, you have to put in the effort, nurturing and the commitment that it needs to get it to grow and last. Love is a very important ingredient, however on its own it is just not enough to carry…
By: Ken Beaven in  Relationships  >  Enhancement   Mar 25, 2012  
2
  Likes: 4

How To Be Yourself In A Relationship
If you are searching for how to be yourself in a relationship, it makes me believe that you know that you are not being yourself and would like to change that? I have had this same feeling in past relationships where I know I wasn't being myself. You feel like…
By: Lauren McEachran in  Relationships  >  Dating   Aug 13, 2012  
0
  Likes: 0

How to Spice Up A Relationship – 5 Tips to Turn Up The Heat!
Have you been looking for ideas on "How to Spice up a Relationship" and crank up the heat up? Are you feeling a bit frisky and your spouse isn't, a tepid sex life is not uncommon. With a little effort on your part and an open attitude you can really…
By: Connie Lewis in  Relationships  >  Marriage   Jul 01, 2012  
5
  Likes: 4

Ways to Improve Communication In A Relationship
There are several ways to improve communication in a relationship. If you are struggling to see eye to eye more often than usual then perhaps it is time to work on your communication. You've probably heard before that communication is everything in a relationship. It is the one area in…
By: Lark Begin in  Relationships  >  Love   Feb 08, 2013  
2
  Likes: 4

Cheating In A Relationship - Will Destroy Trust
Infidelity is the most disheartening thing in a relationship and finding out about breaks your heart and throws your life into a tail spin. On the bright side, cheating within the relationship can be overcome given enough time. You can heal if you focus on your relationship and take action…
By: Garry2 in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Jan 17, 2012  
0
  Likes: 1

How to Make A Relationship Stronger
Relationships take work, often times hard work. Sometimes relationships can dwindle and you are left wondering what you did wrong. The spark is missing and you want to know how you can bring it back or even if it ever will come back. If you are wondering how to make…
By: Lark Begin in  Relationships  >  Love   Feb 08, 2012  
0
  Likes: 4

How Too Be Happy In A Relationship – Creating Lasting Love
All of us wish to experience love and what better way to experience this other than with a life partner. In order for us to be happy in a relationship, there is a 3 step process from working on yourself when you’re single, to what you say to a potential…
By: Melody in  Relationships  >  Communication   Dec 19, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

Article Views: 3418    Report this Article