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Forgiveness For Cheating - How To Rebuild The Trust You Once Had
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Forgiveness For Cheating  -  How To Rebuild The Trust You Once Had

There is no doubt about it, cheating is wrong. You probably already know this and want to make amends - that is why you are here. Realistically though, do you think that it is possible to be forgiven for cheating? Put yourself in the other person's shoes for a minute - would you forgive them if they cheated on you?

Every situation is different of course, maybe the cheating was a full-blown affair that lasted for months, or maybe it was a drunken kiss that meant nothing. Whatever your individual situation is, to get forgiveness for cheating you will need to pull up your sleeves and do some work. Is your ex worth fighting for? Do you really regret what happened? Then it is up to you to change the way your ex sees you and put things right.

The truth is that it is actually a lot easier to get your ex back after cheating than you might think. There are several reasons for this, mainly because your ex hasn't fallen out of love with you. In all likelihood your ex wants to take you back but they are dealing with a lot of unresolved bitterness and hurt. You need to therefore be able to read your ex's behaviour and act accordingly.

Step 1 - Understand Where Your Ex Is Coming From And Why They Feel The Way They Do

If you want to know how to fix your relationship you first have to start seeing things from your ex's perspective. Only then will you be able to take the right actions that don't risk pushing your ex away even farther.

One of the things that your ex will be feeling right now is a lot of anger towards you. This is only natural and to be expected. You didn't think for one second that your ex would welcome the news that you had cheated on them, so learn to deal with this anger towards you productively. That means that you stop with the excuses and trying to justify why you cheated. Your ex does not want to hear any of this. Even worse, putting the blame onto them for your cheating is a really bad idea. It will only cause your ex to resent you more and think that you are completely unreasonable.

The first stages for your ex are going to be hard. Finding out that you were disloyal to them and that they cannot trust you anymore is a huge shake to their confidence. It also make them question everything about your relationship and if it was ever genuine. They will be angry, aggressive, bitter and vengeful after finding out that you cheated on them. Give them this time, they need to vent their frustrations and go through the different stages.

Later on down the road though things will be a little different. Sure your ex will still distrust you and have loads of unanswered questions about why you cheated. They will want to find out the truth and you are naturally going to be the person that they turn to to find out what really happened and why. Eventually they are going to start missing you and wondering if you feel the same way about them. Loneliness could also come into play and make them reach out for contact with you again.

Step 2 - Behave Appropriately After The Cheating Is Uncovered

Obviously, the way that you behave up to this point is crucial if you want your ex to trust you again and get forgiveness for cheating. There is no point in cheating even more or going out and having wild parties to get over your pain. Your ex will be paying very close attention to what you get up to during this time. They will be anxious to know if you are out enjoying yourself or if you regret what you did and are keeping a low profile. You don't want to be doing anything else to hurt your ex or make them think that it is completely over between you. Therefore, keep your head down and have a quiet life during this time.

You have to understand that your ex will not be approachable after they have just found out about your cheating. They will be seething and will not be able to stand being around you. This sense of betrayal will make them feel sick and they will only want to have as much space as possible between you. Give them this space. I know that it is hard when you want to explain everything and fight for the relationship, but it will only blow up in your face. Hurtful things will be said in the heat of the moment and these will be remembered and raked up again and again. Both you and your ex need time to think and time to work out what is the best way forward.

You need to respect your ex's right to privacy and time apart. The more you try to justify yourself or talk about it, the more heated the situation will become. Increasing your ex's anger towards you is the last thing that you want to happen. The less you say the better here. Don't lay out all of the grisly details of the cheating, it will only devastate your ex completely. Of course you have to be honest, but talking and talking about it will only make the situation worse for both of you. If you don't get this step right at the start then it will be much harder for you to get your ex back in the end.

Your Next Steps

These are only two of the steps that you should follow if you want to be forgiven for cheating. It is a difficult process that must be handled appropriately for it to be successful. First you must try to make your ex miss you. Only then will they want to get back together with you and reach out again.

It is also important to find out how your ex really feels about you right now. There will be certain signs they still love you and it is up to you to decipher them and figure out if you still have a fighting chance with your ex. The important thing right now is to look at things from your ex's perspective and be patient with them. Cheating is a huge ordeal and you have to be prepared to put in the groundwork first to be forgiven and make your ex see you differently.

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