This Article is About
playing volleyball
smell of coffee
coffee brewing
little girl
Her Hurt Is Also My Hurt
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As the family was getting ready for their day, with the smell of coffee brewing, and toast toasting, I asked my daughter who was getting ready for her morning session of volleyball practice how the team selections went last night. All I got was a sad frown and a "not so well."

Angela has been playing volleyball since she was about 10. She's 15 now, and getting ready to start her sophomore year of high school. She's been attending voluntary, informal summer workouts since July. 'Doubles' started this week with teams being selected last night.

Tuesday she texted me saying she was exhausted from practice and was going to skip her babysitting job Wednesday after her morning practice. I didn't think much of this as I know doubles can be a grind.

This morning I got a text from my ex-wife asking about paying the fees for this year and how Angela was doing. I thought it an odd question and told her she was fine. Little did I know what was going on.

After the sad frown and the "not so well," I asked what happened. Angela started to tear up and told me she'd been assigned to the JV B team. So many kids turn out each year that the school fields a 'B' team for the kids who aren't quite good enough to play JV. Nobody gets cut but feelings obviously get hurt when you work hard and now find yourself playing with others not deemed 'good enough,' and finding yourself playing against freshman squads again.

I went to give her a hug and she said, "daddy don't touch me or I'll just cry." I wanted to cry. I could see the hurt in her big, beautiful hazel eyes. I was proud and hurt at the same time. Here was my baby getting ready for practice after having received some very hurtful news the night before. She said the teams weren't set and that she would have an opportunity to move to the JV team if she worked hard and improved. She said she was going to keep a good attitude and just move on and do the best she could. Not hint of quit in my little girl.

We took off for practice, picking up a couple of friends on the way. Angela put on a brave face, chit chatted in the car and tried to act like nothing happened. I still wanted to cry.

I dropped her off and called her mom to try and find out some more details if I could. There wasn't a lot more other than Angela knew something was up on Tuesday evening, which is why she didn't want to babysit the next day. She had a talk with her mom and let it all out. I wish I had been there.

Angela is a happy kid, but rarely if ever lets us in on a disappointment or unhappiness. She went through a lot during the divorce, and I think puts on a happy face for the adults so that we'll be happy. I can't wait to talk to her today after practice. She was going to talk to the coach and find out what she can do to improve. I'm so very proud.

My daughters hurt was also mine. I'd never really experienced that before. She was being tough and I just wanted to cry. I felt sick that she was so disappointed, but I was also proud that she was going to continue to go to practice, support her team, and do what she needs to do to get better.

I know this is just the first of many disappointments she'll experience as she grows up. I hope I can be there for her and help help, and help guide her through it, and help her see that their are positives in hardship, and that if she can learn something from it, and grow from it, that ultimately she'll be a better person for it in the long run.

I'm very proud of Angela, and know she'll be fine.


Street Talk

I hope your daughter, Angela gets to read her father's words! It would be a great help that you are talking about. Excellent article, my man!

Reply
  about 9 years ago

Thank you. That was a tough one to write.

Reply
  about 9 years ago
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