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How Can You Make A Difference In Your Daughter’s Life?
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How Can You Make A Difference In Your Daughter’s Life?

For every girl living in a loving home environment her father is the most important male that will ever be in her life. He is there to teach her, comfort her, chastise her, model how a man should treat his wife and impart his values and beliefs on a range of issues that will shape her character forever.

This is an enormous job and your daughter relies on you to do it well. In fact her life depends upon it.

The Key To Making A Difference In Your Daughter’s Life

The key to making a difference in your daughter’s life is the time you spend with her. In today’s world most fathers have to work long hours away from the home and are exhausted by the time they return home each evening.

Two questions need to be asked here:

(a) Do you really need the salary that you are earning or could you cut back on lifestyle to cut back on hours and spend more time with your family?;

(b) Is your daughter worth more to you, than the lure of the cosy couch in front of the television after your long hard day?

Time At Work and Time With Your Daughter

When considering whether you can cut back on your work hours remember that you only have eighteen years to make a difference in your daughter’s life and then you lose her. Even worse, if you are not present for her during her early years, you lose your significance and will have a far lesser impact on her when hard decisions need to be made in her teen years.

For example if you have not been home to see your daughter go to birthday parties during primary school you will have no idea of what she wore, or her clothing preferences. When she walks down the stairs at age 13 to go to her first evening disco party in a totally inappropriate tight, sparkly dress, she is going to resent any criticism that you might make. However, if you have been commenting on her clothes since her toddler years both when you like what she is wearing and when you do not, she is going to sub-consciously seek your approval. Your view will mean something to her and you will have earned the right to disapprove of the slinky, disco number. You have to be present though to earn these rights.

If you really can’t cut back on your work hours and sadly, for financial reasons, many men cannot, the reality is that if you want to make a difference in your daughter’s life you are going to have to sacrifice your own leisure time. When you come home from work it is essential that you immediately switch into father mode and take over from your wife. You need to spend one on one time with your daughter talking to her. If you have sons and you have been used to kicking a ball in silence, comfortable to just be in each other’s company, you are going to have to radically alter your strategy. If you are with your daughter and don’t speak to her she is going to think that something is wrong and that she has offended you in some way. I see many teenage firls who suffer eating disorders or depression based on a belief that their fathers don't value them.

Most girls like to talk and what your daughter needs from you is questions that allow her to open up, affirmation and acceptance. She needs to know when you don’t approve and the reasons why and most importantly the fact that nothing that she does or says ever changes the way you feel about her.

Be Present For Your Daughter

You earn the right to make a difference in your daughter’s life by being present.


Street Talk

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