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Being Friends With Your Ex Boyfriend - Is It Wise?
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Being Friends With Your Ex Boyfriend  -  Is It Wise?

Relationships can often be complicated. At one point, you may end up breaking up with your boyfriend for a host of reasons. What is more intriguing is the fact that your boyfriend may want to continue being your friend. This may sound strange. All along you imagined how you would have a lifelong blissful relationship but along the way a breakup happens. As if that is not hard enough, your ex boyfriend wants to continue being your friend. Definitely you have a lot in common and it may therefore look like being friends after the breakup is oaky. It is better than having to quarrel all the time due to problems associated with dating. But the biggest question is, is this good for you?

Why You Should Avoid It

There is nothing as hard as having to breakup with your boyfriend. But when it happens, it may not be a good option to switch to friendship immediately. Having such feelings of wanting to continue being friends is a clear indication that there are several unresolved emotional issues. You are probably in denial and that is why you don't want to let go of him. You are probably hoping for more than just friendship.

Deep within you, there is still the urge to have this friendship revert back to a relationship like you had before. You probably have not forgiven yourself for the breakup. On the other hand, if he is the one who caused the breakup, he will have the same feelings. That is why he is trying to reach out to you for friendship. But what he is probably after is to re-establish a more serious relationship. But it is quite important to remember that breaking up is not an easy thing. Both parties will get hurt.

After this hurting breakup, you may want to assuage the resultant feelings through friendship with your ex. This seems like a safer bet for several reasons. To start with, you are just friends; there are no obligations to be met. You are able to keep in touch without the deep feelings of missing each other. There are no more fights. It seems like the best compromise in such a situation. This may seem quite easy when you think about it. But it is more complicated than it seems.

You Want More Than Just Friendship

After a breakup, it may look safer to just hangout as friends without dating. But human nature is complicated. The yearning for re-establishing the physical contact that you had before may come sooner than you may imagine. One of you will start feeling the urge to re-connect again. This does not mean that the problems that caused the breakup have been resolved.

Yet, sleeping with your ex may trigger again that emotional attachment that you had before the breakup. But your ex may not feel the same about you even after this physical reconnection. And as soon as you realize this, you will feel that he just used you. You want to be treated more than just a friend. This may not be the case and you may feel more disappointed than before. See now why being friends with your ex boyfriend not be the greatest idea in the world?

What if One Gets Into a New Relationship?

After a breakup, either of you may decide to start seeing someone new. This scenario will be complicated especially if both of you retain your old friendship. Many questions will arise as to how you will continue being friends when a third party has come to the scene. If for example your ex boyfriend gets a new love, you will most likely feel jealous because he will spend less time with you. Remember you are just friends while the other one is his lover. Things could never be more complicated. It will bring more pain to see the man you once loved and whom you still feel something for moving out with another woman.

On the other hand, it could be you who gets another lover while you are still friends with your ex boyfriend. If you put yourself in your ex boyfriend's situation, you will realize that it won't be easy for both of you. To start with, your ex will most probably feel jealous for having lost you to another man. Again, your new boyfriend is not likely to be comfortable with you having a continued friendship with your ex. In any case, how will you convince him that it is just friendship and not love reloaded? As possessive creatures, human beings, of which both your ex and new boyfriends are, don't like sharing their friends and lovers.

Don't be Friends if You Want Him Back

If you are seriously considering getting back with your ex boyfriend, you should not start with friendship. This is because such a situation is not only emotionally draining but it may also leave you more confused than before. Remember your ex may still go ahead and start seeing someone else while you are still friends and you can't blame him for this. Definitely, you won't be smiling knowing that your ex, who is now just a friend, is sleeping with another woman while you sit there hoping to get him back.

It is therefore necessary to avoid getting into friendship with your ex after a breakup. Instead, you should create a completely new situation that will leave him with no option but to humble himself and come chasing after you. You must make him miss you so much that he will work the best possible way to resolve the issues that caused the breakup. You must create a situation where reestablishing a relationship with him will mean that you will get a better deal than you had before a breakup. You must be sure that you are not headed for another roller coaster relationship.

Your Next Step

In order to get a new long-lasting relationship with your ex boyfriend, you must work out a plan that gradually and surely shows him that you have what it takes to be his best possible girlfriend. You must know how to play with his psyche in order for him to feel permanently attracted to you. But before you do all this, you must first ensure that he has genuine interest in you. Otherwise both of you should just move on. Watch out for signs he still loves you and this will help you to know what to do next.

You should also be avoiding these break up mistakes like the plague! Please do not do any of these things if you really want him back, it will just send him running off in the opposite direction.

Street Talk

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