This Article is About
friendships
negative emotions
romantic relationship
keeping secrets
breakups
acrimony
resentments
tightrope
religious beliefs
fades
test of time
personal growth
betrayal
Breaking Up With A Friend: Why Not All Friendships Are Meant To Last A Lifetime
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Breaking Up With A Friend: Why Not All Friendships Are Meant to Last A Lifetime

The song says to make new friends, but keep the old, but that may not always be possible. Sometimes there are friendships that need to end. Sometimes the end is filled with acrimony and hurt feelings and sometimes the end just comes as the end of the natural course of things, as the friendship just kind of fades away. There are many reasons that our friendships might need to end, not the least of which being personal growth.

For some friends, a new career, a new romantic relationship or even a change in religious beliefs might be enough to shake the foundation of the friendship. While some might claim that all friendships should be strong enough to endure the test of time, that might not be realistic. If you change on of the major pillars of one or both partners, it changes the entire dynamic. No matter what, you can't keep things always the same. Even if you could, eventually that sameness would do damage to the relationship as well. Friends often find themselves bored with one another and start seeking new hobbies or people to talk to. It is a tightrope between reinventing yourself and the friendship.

Angry breakups with a friend might feel like the worst betrayal in the world but in that rage, the real source of your negative emotions might come tumbling out. If one friend is keeping secrets and hiding their resentments of the other, it might eventually boil over and lead to these unnerving moments. A long "forgotten" slight might also be the cause of these building blocks of doom, leaving you to always question what else your friend has been hiding.

The longer the friendship has endured, the more painful this ending might feel. It is important to recognize the feelings of grief and to allow yourself to feel them. If you are sad, be sad. You are allowed to mourn the ending of a friendship just as you would mourn the loss of any other kind of relationship. An end may not even be a permanent end but merely a break while the relationship finishes evolving and moving into its next stage. That may not always be possible or it may mean a far less distant, cooler friendship than you previously enjoyed. If you value the person, then you will be alright with this lesser friendship. Perhaps in time, fences can be mended and new bonds formed.


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