Most people find it extremely difficult maintain good terms with ex-partners, let alone maintain a proper friendship. After all, not everyone is like Ted and Robin from the television sitcom ‘How I Met Your Mother’, right?

You haven’t been friends with your ex for a while now, and your life has been going on fine. However, if the relationship didn’t end in an absolutely brutal way chances are that you will find yourself thinking of or missing your ex at times and hoping you were still friends. Because, though you don’t miss them as a lover, you do miss their friendship. The good news though is that you can now stay friends after a breakup1 too.

Here how –Having a strong friendship pre-relationship helps: Being good friends before a getting into a relationship, helps a lot in going back to being friends, once the relationship has reached its end. Both of you know what it is like to be just friends with each other, and it’s obvious that you enjoyed the friendship, hence you went into a relationship. Just make sure, that when you go back to being friends you limit it to just that, and don’t become each other’s friends-with-benefits. Don’t make the mistake after your breakup2, of adding sex to the new relationship, it will only make matters complicated which could result into the end of the friendship you are trying to maintain.

It’s easier if no hearts were broken3: By this I mean being friends will be much easier if your relationship ended on mutual terms, with neither having broken the other’s heart. Since a mutual breakup is joint decision by both the parties involved its easier for a friendship to survive since no one has bitter feelings towards the other. Also reasons for a mutual breakup are generally the understanding of the fact that the two of you don’t gel as lovers, but you could very well be able to gel as buds.

Having ‘no hard feelings’: In the event that the breakup was not mutual, if the dumped party harbours no hard feelings for the dumper then a friendship might have the chance to blossom after all. It will however involve not bringing up the past and never playing the ‘blame-game’. Forgive and forget and look towards the future.

Same circle of friends: If you and your ex are both part of the same group of friends chances are that you are likely to remain friends even after you breakup. There will be initial tension between the two of you, and each will probably expect the group members to take their side. However, given some time this will change and both out grow this phase and be at peace in each other’s company.

Was your ex and absolute jerk? If your answer to this question is a firm no, then you can maintain a healthy friendship with your ex if you tried. Cause no matter what the reason for the breakup you don’t think lowly of them, and this is a major factor in forming a lasting friendship. After all, we don’t remain friends with people we think are jerks right!

You really loved them: If you ‘honest to God’ loved your ex at some point then remaining friends with each other will be rather easy. For you are no longer ‘in love’ with them but you will most certainly still love them. Love being a feeling that is more than often lasting, you will not stop caring for them and their well being even after the breakup. You will still respect them and want them to be happy. If you find yourself in such a situation then don’t hesitate in being friends, cause in such deep relationships chances are you ex feels the same way and would gladly give their best to this new friendship you both have formed.

After reading this if you have one particular ex lover in your mind, then hesitate not, give them a call and see where it takes you.