This Article is About
friendship
grasping at straws
romantic relationship
staying friends
something else in mind
romantic partner
exes
light switch
perfect solution
bandwagon
resentment
nothing wrong
motives
couples
Friendship With An Ex - Is It A Good Idea?
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Friendship With An Ex  -  Is It A Good Idea?

What could be worse than the end of your romance? Often the idea of saying goodbye to your ex for good can seem like the end of the world. A lot of couples start grasping at straws in an effort to desperately cling to a person that they're comfortable with - even if they're no longer together. This often leads to a pseudo friendship with a former romantic partner. Truthfully, friendship is the last thing that recent exes should agree to. It will only amplify the hurt of your lost relationship and breed further resentment and pain as it continues.

Ultimately, there is nothing about a friendship with your ex that is going to be positive. Sure, it may seem good at first. You don't have to suffer through the additional pain of your ex's absence. You get to keep talking - often like nothing wrong has happened between you at all. That is the underlying problem, as well as the obvious benefit. Things have changed, and the longer you deny it and pretend that it hasn't, the longer you're not going to be able to move forward, and that's going to come back to bite you later.

If you're the one that essentially called an end to your romantic relationship, do you think your ex went along with the idea of staying friends for simply pure motives? Did they switch off their feelings like a light switch and jump on the friendship bandwagon because it sounded like a perfect solution, or do they have something else in mind? The chance of them just going along with the flow and accepting the evolution of a friendship out of a romantic relationship is rather slim. It's much more likely that the only reason they agreed to stay friends is to keep you around until they can figure out a viable way to get you back.

If the shoe is on the other foot, however, you may be fooling your ex for now, but you're not fooling anyone else - and ultimately, that includes you as well. You know that you have a hidden motive beneath the cover of a friendship and you're just biding your time waiting for the best moment to strike. Maybe you're unsure of how to win back your ex, and while you're searching out the perfect means to make them realize how wrong they were, you at least get to have them around. Friendship genuinely feels better than nothing - but the truth of the matter is that it really isn't, not for you or for them.

The reality remains that no breakup is ever truly mutual. Two parties rarely simply agree at the same time that a romance should come to an end and they both decide to part ways. One person always receives the brunt of the hurt and the frustration when things are taken completely out of their hands. Whoever that person is, they're about to get hurt again when they realize that their attempts at a "friendship" are not going to be ultimately productive in recreating a romantic relationship and that nothing they can say or do will make it happen if it's simply not meant to be.

What do You Hope to Accomplish?

Are you secretly hoping that your ex will wake up one morning and realize that they made a horrible mistake when they decided to end your relationship? Are you realizing that your daydreams are starting to influence your reality and that you're hoping for something that simply doesn't have much of a chance?

Friendship with an ex is not your path to overall success. It may be a harsh lesson to learn, but if you're seriously interested in renewing your romance, you're not going to get there by pretending to be your ex's friend. Not only do you risk being stuck in the friend zone permanently, but you're also severely limiting your chances by pretending that you're already on the path to romance by pretending to be something you're not - and that is only going to end in further rejection, pain and loneliness overall.

We're Already Friends - Now What?

If you've already jumped aboard the friendship express, it's not too late to change your mind. You're not locked into the role of a friend forever, and you have a lot more choices than you may think. While it may seem like the train has already left the station, there are a lot of pit stops along the road, and you're more than free to make a different determination at every crossroads.

The time to act, however, is now. If you remain in this role indefinitely, you're simply allowing your ex's perception of you to evolve into something you know you don't want. You don't want them to see you as a friend. If you're hoping for something more, it's absolutely critical that you do something to stop that shift in its tracks. Once it takes hold, it can be nearly impossible to reverse. Now is the time to come clean and let them know how you really feel. Putting yourself on the line may not seem like a particular pleasant conversation, but honesty is going to win you respect if nothing else. You never know - you may be pleasantly surprised by how your ex reacts if you just are willing to tell them the truth.

What To Do Next

By now you hopefully realise that friendship with your ex is not the best idea if your intentions are to get them back. There are still some really effective win your ex back strategies that you can employ if this is your ultimate aim. To start you should make yourself aware of why you were dumped. The reality is hard to face up to but it is a must if you want to get to grips with the truth and make things better a second time round. Also, look out for signs your ex loves you. They could be hiding it well, but there are certain subconscious things that they will be doing that will betray how they actually feel.


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