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My Ex Boyfriend Wants To Be Friends - Good Idea?
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My Ex Boyfriend Wants To Be Friends  -  Good Idea?

It's not a simple coincidence that your ex-boyfriend broaches the subject of a friendship with you. It's difficult to imagine what life is like without the person you've spent the majority of your time with over an extended period of time. Relationships tend to lead to tunnel vision and it's often nearly impossible to remember what life was like without them. If friendship seems like an easy way to keep him close by, however, you may want to rethink things prior to diving in. Having an ex-boyfriend as a friend can lead to dangerous ground, and the normal problems are going to crop up when you least expect it, making a lasting friendship difficult to maintain.

You Are Still In Love:

Being in love is not something that has an over-the-counter cure. You can't walk into your neighborhood pharmacy and ask for an inoculation to make feelings disappear because your ex broke up with you. Life would certainly be easier if there was - at least it would be less complicated and it wouldn't hurt quite so much. The fact of the matter is you need to recognize how you feel - before you agree to a friendship. If you are going to try to get back together with your ex down the road, then friendship is not going to help you achieve that goal. You should only accept a friendship if you're positive that any romantic interest is really at an end. It's a decision that you're most likely not able to take back later if you change your mind.

Starting Over with Someone Else:

It's understandable that you feel like you can have your cake and eat it too. People are often unwilling to give up on things that have potential, and it's hard to imagine letting your ex go completely. Things are about to get ugly, however, when you start a new romance with another guy. As surprising at it is, your ex got jealous when you broke the news. He's not happy for you and encouraging you like you'd planned. And your new guy isn't thrilled that you're still friends with your ex either.

Both of them are suddenly on opposing sides of the field, and you realize with growing alarm that things can't stay this way forever. Eventually, they're going to clash - and you're unfortunately caught in the middle. Your options are incredibly limited and they both involve making a difficult choice. You either have to give up your friendship with your ex boyfriend completely, or you have to kiss your new relationship goodbye - and neither is a choice that you particularly want to make.

He's Seeing Someone New:

If you want to see a clash of epic proportions, you're about to experience the ride of your life. Television wrestlers have nothing on a cat-fight. There's a reason that a brawl between two women (whether it's physical, verbal or both) is often regarded with such trepidation - it's terrifying to watch, and even worse to experience. If your ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend that he's showing around town, the two of you are eventually going to come face-to-face.

You may be able to paint on that friendly smile (while secretly plotting out the best way to rip her hair out) for a little while, but it's going to be too draining to maintain overall. She may be badmouthing you to her friends, or making snide remarks in your direction. Regardless of whether or not she's a saint, things are bound to get ugly fast. It's best to avoid such volatile situations altogether. This is one of the most common and most devastating problems about people who attempt to stay friends. Ultimately, it just hurts them both and causes a lot of bad blood all around.

Is He Looking for More than Sex?

It's possible that your ex-boyfriend's one track mind is true to form at the moment, and he's only thinking of one thing. Maybe you've thought about it too. Sleeping with him again once or twice wouldn't really do any damage, right? Wrong. It is damaging to your emotions, it's damaging to your confidence, and it's damaging to the potential future of your relationship as a whole. There are rarely, if ever, true situations where sex honestly has no strings attached. It's often impossible to control emotions, and one person inevitably will get their feelings mixed in, only to have them hurt when it ends.

Your best course of action is to refuse to be friends from the very beginning. If he pushes you or wants to know why you won't think about it, be honest. Tell him that you still care for him, and that you can't possibly simply pretend that your feelings have gone away and be friends. Then bow out gracefully, and let him stew in the honesty for a little while so you can go over your plan of action.

It's absolutely possible for you to end the breakup and get your relationship back, but it's not going to happen by waving a magic wand around and wishing it into reality. It's only going to come through action, and through a conscious effort on your part to do what's going to move you forward while simultaneously avoid things that will only damage your chance of success.

Your Next Steps

Hopefully you now realise that being friends with your ex boyfriend is a bad idea if you want him back. There are loads of things that you can now do to make a reconciliation possible however. First thing is first, you have to understand why men leave women and see things from his perspective. You cannot build a positive foundation for a new future unless you get to grips with why your relationship could have failed first time round.

After that you should be using some powerful get him back strategies to make him chase you. Implement the right moves at the right time and you will be successful. You might also be interested in knowing how your ex boyfriend really feels about you now. This is when you look for signs he still likes you. Even if he isn't giving much away you can decipher what he says and read his body language.


Street Talk

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