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tom dick and harry
friends and friendship
true feelings
loyal friend
real friend
Real Friendship
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Real Friendship

A true or real friend

Friend in need is a friend indeed” is what we all commonly know about friends and friendship. But who is a friend? We don’t normally open up ourselves to any Tom, Dick and Harry. We may have few persons in our life whom we trust each other and believe can share our ideas, concerns, joy as well as sorrows. Though the persons with whom we share might not in a position to help us or comment on what we share, we still feel that by talking to such people, we get some peace of mind.

So, a friend is the first person whom you want to call or talk to or share something when you hear a good news, you have some concerns or even when you are in danger. You trust your friend and that is why you want to share something and the trust level is the base for friendship. A friend can give you a lot of support when you need it whether you are in a good or bad situation. It takes time to build the friendship or the trust level. The friendship should give happiness and security to you as well as your friend for continuing the friendship.

A friend should be

1. Honest

2. Loyal

3. Trustworthy

4. Unconditional

By honesty, we mean integrity, truthfulness and straightforwardness. It is also freedom from deceit or fraud. An honest friend will adhere to his/her moral and ethical principles. He or she will be open and sincere in all dealings and straightforwardness, shows the expression of one’s true feelings and opinions.

Loyalty is the faithfulness to commitments or obligations. A loyal friend will support you only if you are right and will not support for your wrong doings. Loyal friends are impartial and will stand with you and ultimately provide the support and care you need. They do not expect any benefit in return from you and will not even take it if they are offered with.

A trustworthy person is dependable and reliable at all times. The trust level between you and your friend shows how much you can depend upon your friend, in need. Dependable friends will never stab in the back, which means they will not do something harmful to someone who trusts them. They will not behave nicely in front of you and differently to someone about you in your absence. You know that you can depend upon your friend in any situation.

By being unconditional, a person will not attach any conditions to his friendship. Unconditional friendship does not look for personal status, cast or creed, rich or poor etc. Whenever a person needs help or advice of any sort, an unconditional friend will be available to support.

We have lots of friends. But if we count who all are our friends based upon the above four qualities, we may run down to a handful of friends and on a further round we may even come down to one or two. They are our real friends. Also, in situations where you really need a friend’s help you will pick only one from your friends’ list and ask for help because, you trust that person much more than others and you know that he/she is the one who can support you. It is not because you don’t have friendship with others but your inner self finds the priority.

We have casual friendship and real friendship. Casual friendship is one in which we mingle with each other and share ideas and concerns probably on a regular basis but we may not have the same trust level or intimacy with such friends when compared to our real friends.

So, next time when you say he/she is my friend, think twice.

Street Talk

Thanks for your comments. In fact, I have lived in many places and have many contacts. But in real life, I have only three close friends.

  about 9 years ago

I like your article on friendship. We call many people in our lives "friends", but very few make it into our inner circle of true friendship. I hope you do some more writing in this area. Garry

  about 9 years ago
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