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Should I Be Friends With My Ex After The Break Up? - The Truth
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Should I Be Friends With My Ex After The Break Up?  -  The Truth

Not only is friendship with your ex an attractive proposition because this person knows you incredibly well and understands where you're coming from, but in large part they've become your primary support network. They're the person that you turned to first in case of trouble, and without that feeling of security, life can seem rather bleak. Friendship in theory allows that bond to continue indefinitely, just with a different name. Unfortunately, though, things don't always go according to plan.

When a relationship begins going south, it's normal to look for other options that can prevent the pain associated with a complete disassociation. The prospect of a friendship is tempting for multiple reasons - especially if that's how you and your ex first began your time together. Friendship seems like a viable option when it's how things initially began, and it's often the first go-to plan when faced with the possibility of watching a person you're incredibly close to walk out of your life for good.

You're not the only couple in the world to give the whole friendship thing a try when a romance turns sour. In fact, a lot of couples try to give it a whirl. For a while, it seems like the perfect arrangement. Sure, it's not sunshine and rainbows all of the time, but what friendship ever is? You chalk it up as normal and do your best to work through the awkward moments to get to the good that is inevitably underneath.

When it comes down to brass tacks, your breakup went one of two ways. Breakups are rarely mutual decisions, and even in those rare cases, one party is typically pushing for it more than the other. Because of that, any friendship that develops is going to come with some predetermined baggage that cannot simply be swept into a corner and ignored indefinitely.

If you broke up with your ex, there's probably a nagging feeling that something isn't quite right with your "friendship". Although they're really never forthcoming with their thoughts or feelings, something may seem inherently 'off' and it's difficult to put your finger on the problem. You're picking up on the fact that they still have romantic feelings for you - and the only reason that they're willing to be your friends is to give them what they think will be the opportunity to step up and try to get your romance back, no matter the cost.

If your ex broke up with you, however, the situation is reversed but identical in theory. While your ex may be willing to move on and get on with their own lives, you're still hung up on the idea of your relationship. You can't help thinking about where things exactly went wrong, and you want to identify the problems so they can be overcome. You feel like that will inevitably lead to the return of your relationship, and it doesn't really matter what your ex has to say about it.

Regardless of which side you find yourself on, it may be clearer to you now that someone is bound to get hurt. Someone was left in the lurch when the relationship came crashing down, and that person felt the sting of rejection completely. A friendship gives that person a standby solution to avoid letting go of the person they never wanted to say goodbye to at all, and gives them even the smallest sliver of hope that things can turn around, if they can only wait it out long enough.

The Truth About Friendship and Romance:

If you're starting to recognize the fact that your feelings for your ex are still in existence, you may want to take some time to rethink your strategy for success. Are you seeing your friendship as a way of holding onto the past instead of being forced to let go? Are you looking for more than just a buddy? If so, it's time to make a change and decide to not go along with the flow where friendship is concerned and stand up for what you genuinely want.

If you seriously want your romantic relationship with your ex back, you need to do something about it. Things aren't going to change overnight, and your ex isn't likely to wake up one morning with an abrupt change of heart. If you want things to change, you need to make that change happen yourself - not simply wait for your friendship to evolve into more.

Is it Too Late to Go Back?

While there isn't a distinct line in the sand separating friendship from romance, you're sure to know if you've crossed it. There's some point in a platonic relationship where the way you view the other person changes. Once that happens, it's almost impossible to go back to where you started, which is why it's imperative that you take the chance while you still have it.

You don't want to be stuck regretting your inability to take action when you could have. If you do nothing, your former relationship is gradually going to fade into the background until it's barely something either one of you remember. The time to take action is NOW, and if you're not willing to take that step to come clean and be honest, you're not really interested in a new relationship with your ex - you're just unwilling to fully move on, and you're using them as a crutch to help you through the process indefinitely.

What To Do Next

So, should you be friends with your ex? Hopefully by now you realise that this is a bad idea if you want to win your ex back. Luckily for you there are many things that you can do to make this happen though. First off, you can understand why you were dumped. Your ex was probably not entirely honest with you about their reasons, but knowing the truth can help you set things right. You should also be looking out for the signs ex still loves you. It is important to know where you really stand after all.

Street Talk

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