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cold shoulder
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13 years
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Your Best Friend Gives You The Cold Shoulder - How To React?
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I had a best friend for 13 years since I was in high school. Our relationship wasn't all smooth and great all of the time. We had good memories but there were times I wondered why we ever became friends in the first place. Both of us were opposites and we had our conflicts. There were times I made mistakes and my best friend would stop speaking to me for months. It taught me a lot about being given the cold shoulder and how to react when that person is your closest friend. In consequence when I started working, I managed to avoid feeling too angry and avoid losing focus when my colleagues gave me the cold shoulder.

How should you react when your BFF ignores you?

1. It hurts I know especially when she does not give you a reason for the silence. Should you confront this person then? Depending on your BFF's behavior, you might want to consider giving her time and not ask her for explanations. I had a particularly stubborn and hot-tempered best friend and I confronted her too early when she started ignoring me. I ended up pushing her away by bugging her for a reason for her silence. I should not have tried too hard because in the end when she was calm enough (months later), she told me the reason.

2. When you realise how alienated you feel when your best friend ignores you, that's when you know you need to have other friends too. Not having a best friend to talk to can be difficult, especially when she's the one preventing you from talking to her but remember you still have your other friends. Take this opportunity to make new friends and strengthening the bond with your current ones. However, don't back stab your best friend either! It's easy to say nasty things when you are angry and hurt but those are all thoughts you have on the spur of the moment.

3. Speak to someone like maybe a sibling or your parents if your best friend giving you the cold shoulder is bothering you too much. Maybe he or she can have some insight and share advice on how to cope with the unagreeable situation. You may feel like you worry about it all the time, thinking about the cause or what you have done wrong to cause the conflict. What you really have to do is focus on your tasks and not let the situation affect your ability to perform especially if you are a student or employee

I was in my final year of university when my best friend ignored me because of a conflict that happened in our house. I had projects to submit and exams to sit for. Being ignored had me really devastated and nearly caused me to fail from graduating. However, I shared my concerns with my mom, and it helped A LOT because mom shared her own experiences and I knew I was not the only one suffering. I stayed focus on my university courses and passed. And my best friend eventually calmed down, gave me an explanation and even attended my convocation.

Today, I don't only have a best friend who is more understanding and other friends who are supportive. I know when someone is giving me the cold shoulder, I still have to get on with my life and not let it affect me too strongly. How about you, ladies? How do you cope when your best friend gives you the cold shoulder?

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