This Article is About
aa batteries
taking out the trash
pause button
mute button
positive thoughts
silence
mistake
clothes
Now I Can Remotely Control My Woman!
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Now I Can Remotely Control My Woman!

It arrived a day early! I now have the power in my hand! I have never felt this powerful before in my life!

What I hold in my hand is every man's dream. I will be able to push a button and control my Woman! Yup, you heard me. I can push this button right here that says 'Say Yes' and she will say yes.

I can even control her volume. I just push the '+' button to turn her up and the '-' button to turn her down! If I need immediate silence I just hit this button right here that will mute her!

I really like that Center button that will probably get the most use out of all of them. It has my mind reeling! It's the 'remove clothes' button. I cannot believe how well put together this remote is! If I want her to forget something, I will only have to push the 'forget' button. Hint: using the two aforementioned buttons in conjunction with each other will bring lasting joy!

The buttons that I am most fearful of are the 'Cook' and 'Clean' buttons. I must admit that these two buttons will be of use someday, but this ole cowboy knows when to be careful about pushing certain buttons.

OK, it's time to put the batteries in and try this remote out for real. I have the 'AA' batteries ready. I wonder how many it takes. Turning it over in my hand reveals no sliding cover to remove. That's funny. How is this suppose to work without batteries? Oh look there's a little printed message where the batteries should be going. "No batteries needed. Works using positive thoughts."

I notice also that the remote is soft. I wonder why? Not sure, but I am about to use this powerful tool! My woman is nagging me about taking out the trash. 'MUTE' button has been pressed. I can still hear her. Let me try again. I press even harder this time. And hold the remote so it points right at her. I hold the pressure for a good two seconds this time.

She stops dead in her tracks. I didn't press the 'pause' button by mistake did I? Nope, I pressed the right button. She looks me dead in the eye and asks, "What is that thing you are pointing at me?"

I quickly try to hide my new most powerful manly tool. But too late she saw it. She came over and held out her hand. I knew exactly what she wanted. I sheepishly handed it over. What came next answered my earlier question as to why the remote was so soft. Yup, I it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Pow! Right across the shoulder. Glad she wasn't aiming any lower!

My new found power faded as fast as the package arrived. My woman now had my controller. I quickly went and took the trash out! I hope she finds the package marked the 'Contol your Man Remote' soon. Maybe it will work for her better than my 'Control your Woman Remote' did!

Note to Ladies: don't get too irritated with your man, he is just looking for ways to get you naked!

Note to Men: Push the center button! Push the center button!


Street Talk

Hilarious, McK! Thanks for making me smile!

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

You are very welcome! Glad you like it!

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

I had high hopes for this device....naked...I like that...nice McK

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Thanks Tim! I did too! It was fun and still getting some fun miles out of it!

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

You are a lucky man to have a wife with a sense of humor!

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

I consider myself lucky every day to have a woman like Kat! Thanks Maria for the great compliment!

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Damn and I thought it might actually work. Thanks for make things a little more on the light side Liked and tweeted

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

You know I was hoping it would work! But it sure was fun pointing it at her! Thanks, John!

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

so much fun......very very funny..I lovoed this

Reply
  about 1 decade ago
Joan S  

Now I'm getting scared. Someone could implant a chip somewhere, connected to the brain, and that remote would work. Time to move to Bora Bora.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

LOL Take me with you! I will fit in a larger suitcase I think!

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

LOL

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

It's a good thing my wife has a great sense of humor!

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

This is priceless, it really is

  
  about 1 decade ago
AnnMarie  

Nice try! LOL...I knew it wouldn't work properly, I'd get my money back...unless of course that center button actually does work for you. Pretty funny stuff here, McK!

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Awe! Thanks! We try around here!

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Got to get me one of these....

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Oh! Well worth it! LOL Loads of fun!

Reply
  about 1 decade ago
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