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Baby Proofing The House – A Present Day Anomaly
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Baby Proofing the House – A Present Day Anomaly

At my age, baby proofing the house, is deviant to the norm. When my issue, where of young age, I did not baby proof the house. They where taught what to touch and what not to touch, but parents today, both working and pitted out in the evenings, need to consider the consequences to an unattended crawler.

In our house my son was a noisy crawler, thudding his hands on the floor, when you heard he was nearing a dangerous area, you picked him up by the nappy and redirected him in another direction. The nappies then made of material, kept together with safety pins so strong, they were capable of lifting cargo on to ships in the harbour. You cannot do that today, the nappies do not look like those that I knew. Paper, filled with moisture absorbing chemicals, kept together between sheets of thin material, attached to the baby with “sticky tape” today if you hoisted a baby by the nappy, the chances good, of receiving a handful of poo or wee.

My daughters on the other hand, silent creepers, into the kitchen, the cupboard of pots and pans silently opened, and the first warning of impending danger, the clatter of metal on concrete. They loved the noise, and I considered it early training of their married duties. In our day, a woman was “kept pregnant and in the kitchen”, so their fascination of pots and pans was encouraging.

How to baby proof the house, there are so many items to buy in the shops, locks that make your drawers in the house safe. What if you want to open the draw? Unlock the kiddie locks and in you go. When in the kitchen, has the area not been preplanned by you, for fast convenient usage? I gave this much thought, what did we do so many years ago? The drawers of today do not fall out, they run on a bar designed to make sure they stay in the slot. The older versions, with two wooden slides, monthly waxed with a candle for ease of movement, they flew out. Ask any man who has been in a fight with his wife in the kitchen. She could rip out a drawer, have knives and forks flying in all directions and use the drawer to emphasise her point.

Electrical plugs, convenient blanks to insert that will stop the child from inserting a finger and being shocked. Old days, nothing, if the child inserted a finger and received a shock, problem solved, “once bitten twice shy.” These items confuse Grandpa, he cannot get them out to recharge his hearing aid, result, he talks too loud and wakes the baby.

Don't want a child in a certain area, buy the convenient doggy doors sold today in baby shops. Once the child has figured out how to open those, let them spend time with Grandpa teaching him how to open them. Sorry I have just been enlightened, the doggy doors are baby doors, funny, I have seen these in certain houses, without a single baby in the house, just an old couple with small dogs. Maybe they were installed to Grandpa proof the house, seeing that he is the only person unable to open them.

Cupboard doors with a plastic lock threaded through the handles. This really stumps Grandpa, as he searches for a key to gain entry. Children no problem, they figure it out fairly quickly. Teach the old man please, he also wants to see what is hidden in the cupboard.

Fridge and deep freezers, with plastic hasps and staples, understandable, seeing that the doors are kept closed by magnets, not like the old days with a door handle to undo the clip. Why bother with these, the magnets are so strong, Grandpa cannot open them in any case. Grandpa has far more interest in the cupboard containing the biscuits, and tea bags. Funny how the tea bags are at a child's level, but the biscuits are left on the top shelf where a step ladder can't reach them. What are you going to do when Grandpa falls off the ladder and breaks something?

Knob covers on the stove and dish washers, great items for kids. Grandpa cannot fry an egg anyway so why would this trip him up? Dishwashers, he only knows how to wash by hand.

Smoke detectors, when have you seen a baby crawling around on the floor with a lit cigarette in its mouth? Is this device only for Grandpa, to ensure he goes outside to smoke, and not sneak a quick puff in the toilet?

Now for the side tables and tea tables throughout the house. Recommendation, remove all items that can fall and hurt a child, store keys and loose change out of reach, move vases and lamps. The best way to check for dangerous items on tables, give Grandpa a couple of glasses of wine too much, he will knock over and break the items you need to move.


Street Talk

roflol... the funniest things are always the truth! Thanks for the giggle. People who have no kids think their house is very childproof. I mean, what can kids really hurt?? What fun did I have visiting with twins to such houses. At one house the first thing inside the front door was a cd tower and before the night was over even the garbage bin was on the grand piano. My husband and I didn't relax for a minute!

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Love it, again thanks.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

I have no grandchildren yet, but I most certainly am not going to to as my ex in-laws did when they just said the parents (me) should keep an eye on my three kids at all times. And the ex in-laws lit the candles on the Christmas tree. Need I say I only spent one Christmas at their house?

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

those candles were NOT electrical, but real. You know, fire and all. Very interesting for a toddler, and right at his nose

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

I have too many grand children that seem to be far too educated and clever. When I need help on the computer I call a child not even a 10th of my age to assist. But I love them all, I have 7

  
  about 1 decade ago
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