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Do younger adults change their tune, after childbirth?
How the birth of a child changes younger adults attitudes, is amazing. How often is it heard, parents saying my child will never change? Their child, no longer a child, now a full-blown adult, late twenties to early thirties. Then it happens, there's a mother-to-be, a child on the way, and parents, not convinced that their child can cope with an infant.
Shock upon shock follows, these very same children you raised, become parents, and natural instinct takes over. “Was I that good, where did they learn it?” questions you ask of your spouse. Sons become fathers, daughters become mothers, changes manifested that astound unexpected by parents.
You attempt to reconcile their youth with their new-found maturity, the changes in personalities and priorities. These are no longer your children, now your equals.
This is a great time for Grand parents, when the child is happy and all google eyed, they're nice to hold, when they cry; you give them back. No need to ever change a nappy, to see that concoction only babies can produce. The wet hands from damp nappies, a thing of the past. What a pleasure for an older couple. Allowed to sleep through the feeding cycles, not a care for a hungry baby, wonderfully late morning snoozes, the awards of being a Grand parent.
The changes their own children show, the late night parties, a thing of the past, dancing and drinking till late into night, no more. Friends with like circumstances, no more the single or childless couples visited till late. Where and how did this change take place? The birth of a child, the wonders of nature, the love never experienced before. The responsibility towards their baby, a natural instinct, not something you taught them, amazement now what you feel.
The daughter that loved to party, that now states she'd rather be at home with her child. A son that leaves the pub early, or even no longer attends, so that he has quality time to spend with his child, are these your children? The same ones you said would never change? Well that's what I thought of mine, and how they have now made me see youngsters in a different light. Sure, they play hard but they also work hard, yet when ready they make better parents than what I can remember being myself.
As a Grand parent, have I change from when I was a parent? Oh yes, I'm more tolerant, I love to spoil them, and to teach them the odd bad habit, just to get my own back. If my children read this, beware, Grand Dad is going to spoil them and give them things you may not wish them to have. I promise I won't give too much or more than they should have. But, ice cream, chocolate cake and the odd sweet, will not do any harm, it didn't you.
Great article Rob, amazing how true it is! Although, I am a better person for the change and love my kids and spending time with them.
Robert, children are a gift to parents to be enjoyed and raised, a greater gift to Grand parents still alive to watch them being raised by their own children. I hope to live long enough to see a great grand child, imagine the experience.
Parenting is amazing. The unconditional love between parent and child is a thing to treasure. But more amazing is the strong bond between grandparent and child. The love of going to see the grandparents, to do the simple things like a walk around the neighborhood or helping in the yard, not a chore but a treasure. I look forward to the day of having a strong bond with my grandchildren and see my own babies grow to have babies of their own. It will be bittersweet.
Yes AJ a pleasure one can't describe, I have such a strong bond with all of mine, and how my own children have grown as parents.
I think I'll be right there with you spoiling the grand kids when the time comes. My kids are still young and spoiling them is fun but then I still have to be the responsible parent before I overdo it. Once a grandparent, I'll get to really be the "nice guy" and then turn them over to the parent when the babysitting is over and let their parents take over as the responsible one. It's hard to believe that my kids will one day be those responsible adults with babies of their own as you refer to in your article.
Thanks Jay, must admit never saw my son as a father yet he is better at it than i was.
This is why we should all be parents young.... before we get too set in our ways! I look forward to my children growing and changing through the different stages of life. One of the greatest blessings of a child. We cuddled our 11 year old in bed this morning and I wondered how much longer we'll have the privilege. I'm sure the time will come when morning cuddles in mum and dad's bed aren't the thing anymore! You give me hope and confidence that it will be replaced with something else wonderful though.
That it will, all the joys of parent hood return with Grand parenthood, and I love it when asked to baby sit, Wife takes over, the games you play and the fun you have outstanding.
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