Scene #1: Tragedy

Time: 3:21 AM

Knock, Knock Knock!

Woof, Woof, Woof! (Daisy barking in background)

Me: (yelling!) "Who the world is it?" (Please don't judge me, I was sleep, ok?)

Man at door: (softly speaking) "Sheriff's Department".

Me: (Body goes limp and I can't unlock the door fast enough) "Oh, GOD".

Sheriff: (as sympathetic as he could muster) "Ma'am, who's here with you?"

Me: (shaking, barely breathing) "My children but my husband is at work" I responded. I knew my daughter was not at home but I could not bare the bone-chilling thoughts that were taking hold of my spirit!! Not my baby!

Sheriff: "Ma"am, I think you need to sit down and call someone because I have some really bad news. Your brother has been murdered."!

Now that the scene is set, imagine the state of mind I was in when I was awaken by a knock on the door and my dog, Daisy, telling whoever was bothering her human Mom that this house is protected by her love! (I love my Daisy!) As I hesitantly opened my door, the uniformed police officer had a look on his face that I KNEW indicated "bad news". My first thoughts after my initial response and my body regained stature were making me dizzy and making my stomach do something that felt like somersaults. My daughter had a girls sleepover with her friends and was just fine, I instantly prayed. My husband was diligently at work with steel toe boots on to protect him and was just fine, I instantly prayed. In that same instance, I thought, "who is hurt, what has happened, when is he going to tell me why he's knocking at my door at 3am." Then the sheriff told me. I could only muster one more thought as the old me because I would no longer be the same. That thought was "why, oh why, did I have to be the one to tell my Mom that her son, my brother had been killed?"

That was a defining and painful moment for anyone to endure but for me, it was the moment that changed my life forever!!!

Scene #2 - Triumph

The funeral is over and he is in a better place but I, on the other hand, was not. Luckily, we always ended our conversations with "I love you" (Thanks Mom for teaching us that). However, I did not have enough time with him. I felt cheated out of the time with a person that I had loved ALL of my life! There had not been one day of my life that my brother was not apart of it and until this moment, I never imagined life without him. I simply did not have enough time!

Nothing seemed more important than time. Time with my family, friends and the people who I held near and dear to my heart became most important. My career as a clinical social worker seemed...fruitless. Here I was trying to help others get their mental health taken care of through various Cognitive Behavioral Therapies and I couldn't muster enough courage to tell myself that I, the therapist, needed therapy sessions to help me cope with my loss!

I had to reassess my life. What was most important in my life? What things did I want to accomplish? The rat race of life was no longer appealing and I wanted OUT of it! There was no way I was going to service my clients effectively like this because I no longer held the empathy required as a clinical social worker. The person that had taken my brothers' life suffered from undiagnosed and untreated mental illness. My belief system had been changed forever! Thank Goodness for grace and mercy because through trials and tribulations comes triumph!

I had to come up with something because my goodness, I had obligations to maintain! I began to brainstorm and journal. While journaling, I happened to turn to a few pages that were in the front of my journal and discovered that I had not been journaling for quite some time. It had been almost 2 years! The rat race had taken control of my life. I had not been able to concentrate on ANYTHING that I aspired to be. I was too busy being who everyone else wanted me to be! Here's where it gets interesting, so keep reading.

As I began to page through this journal, I had taken some awesome notes when I initially began to think about starting an online business with Wordpress blogging. I had really attractive, viable ideas that looked great on paper. I had various resources written down that I was still paying for every month from my previous failed attempt of joining a bootcamp to learn internet marketing. I had written down my log-in information from my blog that I simply, forgotten all about and neglected. I shamefully logged on to my Wordpress account and viola! It hit me! I had by accident, rediscovered my passion and aspirations to be a successful internet marketer or business woman. Or, was it an accident? With losing time with my loved one, it forced me to reevaluate my life and how I spent my time

That is where the triumph started. I found out that I had the basic knowledge needed to go after what my dreams entailed. I had the desire to now spend my time being more productive while continuing to enjoy what little pleasures life had to offer. It changed my mindset not be continuously complaining about what I didn't have and begin to create my life, as I defined it to be!

I am going to make my dreams a reality now! What has changed for me since the death of brother? Did I run across my ideas I jotted down quite some time ago, by chance? Have you ever heard of the phrase, "write your visions down and make them plain"? Nothing happens by happenstance! I just was forced to listen! Will you?

I decided right then and there that I was going to go for life! Make it happen. Please visit my website at to see my creation. I hope you go for your dreams. No one has time to waste. That includes all of us.