This Article is About
fertility specialists
mental anguish
fertility treatment
apparent reason
second time
Understanding Your Own Mental Pain Is So Much Easier
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

Understanding Your Own Mental Pain Is So Much Easier

Two recent articles in the paper got me thinking about how difficult it can be sometimes to understand someone else’s distress or anguish. You may be someone who generally finds it easy to be sympathetic or empathetic but most people have experienced occasions when they just don’t understand the distress, grief or loss that someone else is feeling and have the urge to tell them to pull themselves together. Understanding your own mental pain is just so much easier.

Now one of the articles I was reading was about the struggle one women went through to conceive a second child. It seems there are an increasing number of women who get pregnant very easily the first time and then for no apparent reason fail to get pregnant a second time. This is known as secondary fertility and many fertility specialists are at a loss to explain why this happens.

Some women find the strain of not getting pregnant again almost unbearable and some resort to fertility treatment. Consultant Peter Bowen-Simpkins believes that couples who are unable to have a second child become very distressed particularly as people may say that they should be grateful for what they’ve got. He says that for the majority of couples, not being able to conceive a second time is as distressing as if they’d never been able to have a child.

As soon as I read this I wanted to scream. How could he compare the pain of not having a second child to the pain of not having a first one? As a woman who desperately wanted children and hasn’t had one – I was incensed. When I calmed down I realised that I wasn’t being rational. The fact is that I don’t understand the mental anguish of people who can’t have a second child because it’s out of my realm of experience. I only understand the pain I have experienced not having had a first.

Of course we can sympathise with people when we have never been in similar situations but when it’s a similar situation but with such different outcomes, it certainly makes it more difficult.

The second article I was read was written by the marvellous Erin Pizzey, who for over 40 years has been a family care activist and has saved many battered women’s lives and those of their children. She is incensed that the Home Secretary Theresa May is looking at whether the definition for domestic violence should be broadened to include ‘emotional bullying ‘and coercive control’

Pizzey argues very forcefully that it is wrong to compare women who have had to ‘literally run for their lives’ with someone who has suffered mental abuse and can walk away. I agree with Pizzey, I don’t think there is a comparison – but I disagree that those that suffer true mental abuse always have the strength or ability to walk away. It’s not unheard of for a women in that situation to take their own lives or resort to killing their partner.

I hope that they don’t change the law because I agree with Pizzey that there’s a danger of trivialising the horrors of domestic violence and resources being diverted from where it’s really needed. However, I recognise that any woman who has been brought to the edge of a breakdown from emotional abuse may disagree.

And that brings me back to my original argument. Understanding the mental pain or anguish of someone else can sometimes be extremely difficult. It’s one of those conundrums in life for which there is no easy answer.

Street Talk

No comments present
You May Also Like
Natural Fertility Treatments - One Size Does Not Fit All
Dealing with infertility can be extremely painful and many friends, family members and co-workers have no idea the distress infertility can cause unless they, themselves have experienced it. To make matters worse, there are numerous doctors, fertility specialists, acupuncture therapists and holistic guru's out there who tell us that they,…
By: Denise A.Dilmore in  Home and Family  >  Pregnancy   Jan 04, 2012  
  Likes: 0

Suicide! - Such A Waste
Suicide seems such a waste of humanity, and a tragedy for those remaining behind. I stake no claim as an expert of the mental anguish being experienced by those that end their lives in this way, I've never committed suicide, and if I have, this is the voice of one…
By: Rob Ainslie in  News and Society  >  Crime   Feb 10, 2012  
  Likes: 1

Adoption Waiting Game
Janey described her adoption waiting period as "mental labor". She described it this way - "After I had completed all the paperwork and was matched with a beautiful little girl, I thought I would be united with her rather quickly, but that didn't happen. As each day, week and month…
By: Bev in  Home and Family  >  Adoption Foster Care   Jul 19, 2012  
  Likes: 0

If Women Havent Found Equality, Where Does The Blame Lay?
I’m writing today on a subject that is very dear to me. It is, in fact, the thing that encouraged me to begin helping women achieve their own financial independence – something I’ve been doing for more than five years now. If I’m being honest, I’ve never really tackled this…
By: Caroline Banhidy in  Finance  >  Wealth Building   Dec 02, 2011  
  Likes: 0

Man Arrested for Punching Son at Basketball Tournament
Franz is taking a break from his usual article writing focus to comment on a story that was just posted on Yahoo. This is appalling!! This is wrong on so many levels! I suppose if this is the way this poor kid gets treated at home, behind closed doors, we…
By: Franz Williams in  News and Society  >  Pure Opinion   Dec 16, 2011  
  Likes: 1

Clutter Busting
A messy house leads to a messy life - not my words but the words of my auntie. Clutter busting is a necessity if your house is starting to get you down. Many different types of depression and mental anguish that can be linked to overcrowding of items in your…
By: Chris Evans in  Home Improvement  >  Cleaning Tips and Tools   Feb 08, 2012  
  Likes: 1

Mysterious Disease Strikes A Dozen Girls at the Same School: Parents Demand Answers
Twelve girls from the same school building have all come down with similar symptoms that are causing them mental anguish and leaving their parents with more questions than answers. Thera Sanchez, a seventeen year old senior at LeRoy Junior-Senior High School in New York and Katie Krautwurst, a junior there,…
By: amie nogrady in  Health and Fitness  >  Diseases   Jan 18, 2012  
  Likes: 0

You Can't Make Money Online
Are you thinking about trying to make money online? You've likely heard all the stories about riches from a bunch of people who can't even hardly spell haven't you? All of those realistic screenshots of bank accounts with more money in them in one day than you make in a…
By: Wally Brown in  Internet and Businesses Online   Feb 01, 2012  
  Likes: 0

Do You Have Relationship Problems?
You know, this is the time of year when family and loved ones are supposed to be together, happy, and celebrating the holidays. But sadly enough for some, it can also be a time of great sorrow and heartache. I think that one of the worst feelings there is, is…
By: Stbrac1 in  Relationships  >  Divorce   Dec 12, 2011  
  Likes: 2

Is There A Valid Case For Using Medicine for Shyness?
Another day and another story about anti-depressants in the press. Any stories involving anti-depressants always evoke some very strong feelings. There are generally two types of stories. One is the rise in the numbers of people suffering from some sort of depressive disorder who have been prescribed anti-depressants. The implication…
By:  in  News and Society  >  Pure Opinion   Apr 26, 2011  
  Likes: 0

Why Do the Press Treat Older Mothers so Differently From Older Fathers?
Have you noticed that when it comes to having children late in life men and women are treated very differently in the press? When it’s announced that a man is to become a father in his 60, 70’s or even 80’s the news is generally greeted with a certain amount…
By:  in  News and Society  >  Pure Opinion   Nov 29, 2011  
  Likes: 0

Will the Rise In University Fees See A Rise In Complaints
It now seems that at least 75% of the UK’s Universities have decided to charge £9,000 in student fees. Many of the Vice Chancellors say that the rise in fees is necessary to ensure they can continue to deliver excellent teaching on their degree programmes. I find this aspect of…
By:  in  News and Society   Apr 20, 2011  
  Likes: 1

What Are Our Rights? Do You Know?
Nearly every week in UK there’s a story in the paper or in the newspapers about people’s rights. In recent weeks there have been stories about phone tapping; the rights of the rich and famous to protect their family through so called super injunctions; the rights of people to access…
By:  in  News and Society  >  Pure Opinion   Jun 13, 2011  
  Likes: 0

Ivf Process Step By Step
Any kind of fertility treatment can seem full of confusing procedures and many couples feel that they are being swept along on a tide over which they have little control.  As with many things, a deeper knowledge can mean less apprehension and understanding the IVF process step by step can…
By: Elena Vincent in  Home and Family  >  Pregnancy   Mar 08, 2011  
  Likes: 29

Coping With Grief
Wikipedia states that: Grief is a multi-faceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something to which a bond was formed. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioural, social, and philosophical dimensions. While the terms are often used interchangeably,…
By: Gemma Bailey in  Self Improvement  >  Grief Loss   Mar 16, 2016  
  Likes: 0

Article Views: 1680    Report this Article