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The Concentration On Constipation, The Consternation Of Cardiac Arrest
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The Concentration on Constipation, the Consternation Of Cardiac Arrest

Put more plainly “The engrossment of thought, about a difficult bowel movement, and the awareness of the possible danger of a heart attack.”

I read somewhere, that more men die from cardiac arrest whilst sitting on the toilet, than anywhere else. Now, if you are a man, and this does not cause anxiety whilst partaking in a natural daily movement, your better than I.

Of all the places to have a heart attack, the consequential embarrassment when the Medical team arrives to administer the necessary treatment, might outweigh the very attack. The demise of those who do not survive, imagine the family. “How did he die?” the answer “Heart attack!” the following question, “How did it happen?” the answer “well he was on the toilet.................” The remembrance of the deceased, will surely not concentrate on the cause, but on the situation. The “toilet man.”

I opened Google and started a search, to see if I could find the article expounding this very phenomenon, a big mistake. I discovered that the porcelain throne, not the brainwave it propounds to claim. The very posture used when using this throne is dangerous and inhibits the complete evacuation of the bowel. That feeling of not being finished “the job not done, till the paper work is complete” takes on a new meaning.

The manoeuvre, never heard of before the research, “Valsalva” (I quote Wikipedia “performed by moderately forceful attempted exhalation against a closed airway, usually done by closing one's mouth and pinching one's nose shut”) I have only performed this manoeuvre as a result of the odours emitted by my body. Yet the more research I did on the subject the more I became frightened. Who ever considered that attending to the morning constitution could be so dangerous.

Site's elaborating on the correct and safest style of defecating, the squatting position, performed by our predecessors, predating the discovery of the porcelain commode, being the most popular. A discovery, I'm led to believe, used more by the western world, (maybe a conspiracy theory dumped here somewhere.) The other point being, that more people suffer the demise of heart attacks today than yesteryear. This blamed on our diet and the very life style we followed today. Could it not be from the incumbent use of the commode? Maybe a slice of cake or sweetened cola with breakfast is not all bad.

A certain Doctor in Israel undertook a study of the use of, the porcelain seated model as well as the squat position, discovering an improvement in 90% of cases of haemorrhoids and diverticulitis. Apparently there is a three times higher muscular strain required when sitting than squatting. His studies went on to compound that, if the sitter has a weakened heart, he has a good chance of suffering from a heart attack. Squatters, less susceptible to attack even if suffering from a weakened ticker.

This fact conjures thoughts of my dogs performing the deed, should I be joining them on the lawn in the morning? “Pooper Scooper” and plastic bag in hand, to clear the area of land mines? What a thought, it would definitely redefine how you greet your neighbours!


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