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selfish desires
married couple
different story
ploy
ordeal
hypocrisy
stake
excuse
adults
stress
marriage
If My Spouse Cheats, Should I Leave
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Sometimes, if you ask someone a question and the answer is, it all depends, except when, maybe, etc. don't you just hate that? In this case, I must use some of those answers, because too much is at stake.

My primary concern in any relationship is the children. The adults, in most cases, can successfully rebound. To me, the most reprehensible statement from a divorcing couple is, we talked to the kids and they understand. Here you have two adults that cannot reasonably communicate to save their marriage, yet, they expect the kids to understand.

If the couple is childless, each should move on and never look back. However, it is a different story when children are involved.

Ask most any married couple some of the basic principles they wish to instill in their kids, somewhere, you will hear the words, accountability and responsibility. However, when the going gets difficult, the adults will abandon their own principles by resorting to selfish desires.

If a child ask for a certain thing or toy, he is sometimes told he is too young. For example, an eight-year-old child may ask for a motorbike. The answer will go something like this. When you become older, we will get you the bike. Right now, you are too young to take on that responsibility.

The hypocrisy is obvious. The eight-year-old cannot take responsibility for the bike, but can take the responsibility of losing a parent. I did say losing, because that is exactly what it is.

This so-called weekend visitation thing is a ploy, it is nothing more than an excuse to pretend the leaving parent is in the child's life. Let me make this perfectly clear, whenever a parent leaves the home, the only thing the child can discern is, I am missing a parent from my home. Go ahead, tell yourself the kid will be okay.

Hey adults, how much stress are you going through during this ordeal? Whatever the amount, multiply that by ten for the child. The full impact of the stress associated with the child may not be apparent at this stage. However, the child will have to deal with the stress of your decision somewhere down the road.

Now, I will answer the question about what to do if the spouse cheats. If the relationship is abusive, and the lives of you, or your child is in danger, leave now.

On the other hand, if you are reasonable adults, try to understand the importance of the children. Realize they did not ask to come here. Therefore, beyond all other circumstances, they must be given top priority.

If you, and your spouse determines the marriage cannot be reconsiled, instead of leaving, opt for an in-house separation. When the kids are grown, and the two of you are still angry, go your own way.

Why do I know so much about situations like this? Well, I was in a situation similar to this one. My spouse was so overbearing, I was at the point where leaving was my only option. However, I was able to put my selfishness aside, and thought about the well-being of my children.

Being a war veteran, I realized that if a situation becomes difficult, one cannot just pick up and leave. I explained this to my spouse, and we agreed to raise our kids.

Now that the children are grown and gone, I forgot what I was angry about.

I am now a senior citizen, even if I wanted to leave, where would I go? No one wants an old fool unless money is involved, and I don't have any.


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