How To Cure A Hangover
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How to Cure A Hangover

All advice has been ignored and all good intention went to pave some road to a vey hot place.

You went to bed fine and have now woken up with the neighbour cutting his hedge with a 20 horse power diesel hedge trimmer... he doesn't have a hedge!

Being an upstanding citizen you manage to avoid dialling 999 more because you can not find your phone and even if you could would not be able to hit the same button three times in a row!

So what to do when staying in bed is not an option due to your wife/husband/three year old/neighbour/mother in law wanting some attention?

Help is at hand.. below is a list of hangover cures with no guarantee to work but definitely wont make you feel any worse.

1) Prairie Oyster this is worse than it sounds and involves a raw egg! Depending on the magnitude of your hangover you can add various ingredients to it to make it more palatable. I suggest vodka! If nothing else it will make you vomit which will get rid of lots of reasons you are feeling the way you do!

2) A Sicilian hangover cure.. chew on a dried bulls penis, my research tells me it works as it supposedly restores virility which will then take your mind off your hangover? Please don't ask where to obtain a dry bulls penis, my research stopped short of the shopping guide for it.

3) An African remedy.. Buffalo Milk which of course has never been near a buffalo. It is clotted cream mixed with lots of alcohol and more cream! Dubious and a little how you got into this state in the first place.

4) Turkey cures their hangover with tripe soup! Now I went to boarding school in the days when being left handed was considered as being from the dark side and we had to eat what we were given and think about the poor starving kids from... (fill in the current problem area.) So we did and I witnessed first hand the pandemonium caused by force feeding eight year olds tripe! If that's what happens to the Turks it might well work as a cure but stand well clear!

5) The hair of the dog was my fathers favourite saying in the morning... he was a civil servant.. so every morning. However there is a ready made article or "dog" most good pubs stock. It's call Underberg and has lots of alcohol and 43 different herbs in it.

6) I was bored once and read the ingredients of it whilst at the same time putting Angostura bitters into my gin and then, having run out of reading material, read the ingredients of the Angostura and felt hard done by! They are both the same thing except that the bar supplies the Angostura bitters for free and you have to pay for the other!

7) Asparagus does more than just make your pee smell like an unwashed armpit! It is said to have all sorts of good things in to stop a hangover? I don't much like the smell of unwashed armpits so cannot verify if there is any truth in this.

8) And finally.. Exercise.. sweat it out! I'm sorry I have no further comment for this one, the best I can do is a stretch and flex routine and if that gets too onerous I move my chair closer to my glass!


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