I honestly don't know what to name the title to be perfectly honest. At first I wasn't even going to write this because I felt like this was a spur of the moment thing and then the feeling behind it fades. Then I came to the conclusion that maybe perhaps someone can find the inspiration through the lessons that I have learned.. so again..well worth the time to write it. There are many people that have to thank, though in the past I seemed like a highly ungrateful being.

A friend I pulled back and forth feelings wise because I wasn't sure what I wanted, the recent ex I lost a year ago who is one of the most wonderful individual you would want to meet, and the friend that could of been the best thing going to me but was stubborn and hesitant at the time. Whatever the case may be.. I want to share my story in hopes of inspiring those who are in relationships now or just talking to someone right now.

For privacy and respect purposes I'll keep their names out of it.. but the experiences and lessons will be there. I want to Start with my ex, sort of in a timeline order. Where do I start.. this woman was amazing in every aspect in my eyes. She.. knew her way around a computer, was a fighter and a half, and wasn't afraid to play video games with me. I even joked with her a few times when we used to talk saying "where have you been all my life?".

I loved this girl so much, I even walked a few hours in about 80-100 degree weather just to go see her. Reason being? I didn't have a car, and I didn't have any friends or anyone to take me. She would always fuss at me when I arrived (sometimes getting her in trouble, my bad), but at the end of the day I knew she was glad that I came. For me, just seeing her happy is worth the few hours in heat. It irritated her from time to time, and kept asking me why I kept doing that, and back then my answer was something like "because I wanted to see you." Simple, yet to the point.

Fast forward about a year and some change later, we went out. Man, I felt on top of the world at that point. I had the woman I wanted for over a year and some change, it was summer time, and overall life was wonderful. I use to tell her that when she hugged me I didn't have to worry about anything anymore, I can just relax in the arms of someone who cares about me. I make this sound wonderful on paper.. I know. Of course there were a lot of arguments in the background.. and I do heavily emphasize on a LOT. Back then, I felt like I knew it all when it came to relationships, when even my ex to this very day can attest to the it couldn't of been any further from the truth.

I broke up with her out of sheer stupidity and insecurity. When I tried coming back, she wasn't having it. She put up with enough of my bull, and I left...eyes filled with tears and began feeling only a fraction of how she felt when I hurt her. It took me quite a while to get over the fact that I lost a good woman right before my eyes because I didn't know how to treat her right. One thing she told me that still remains from me today was: "You know... when I used to call, you used to drop everything you were doing just to speak to me. What happened..". Needless to say I couldn't do anything that night after that, because of that one sentence.

I share this story because though yes, I didn't treat her half as well as I used to and didn't realize her value until she was gone, still I took quite a few lessons from the experience. I try to drive this point to my friends by saying to just accept their flaws and what not and just love em for who they are. There are still a good number of women out there, as there are men...in which you should do everything you can to love them. You guys will argue, that is a given, however know that you can indeed fix it as long as you both are willing and able to. There are many more common sense sayings out there, as I'm sure you have heard them before.. but you have to be willing to apply them for any of it to work.

Sidenote and overall Opinion:

To my ex, if you happen to stumble upon my work, letme be the first to apologize for writing this bit. This may or may not upset you.. but my feeling is if I can help someone out the whole deal, then my time spent writing this was very much so worth it. This is to show that I am learning and that I am still appreciative of what you have done for me. I still wish you nothing but the best and to keep inspiring the people you meet.

To everyone else, I hope you grabbed some kind of lesson out of this. I want to show people that I'm like everyone else, Human. I made my said mistakes, and even though back then I messed up a great relationship, I still don't wish to go back. Why? That would mean I would lose the lessons that I have learned from that and thus making the same mistake again and again. They say experience is the best teacher, and it's true. However, I hope through my experience that I can derail you from making the mistakes that I have made. Like a friend once told me "Peace and Love across".