With thousands of women and men out there, why is it so difficult to find the “right one?” For starters, one has to sort from the “pool.” Obviously not all men/women will even make it to or fulfill your list of expectations. And for those few or many who do (depending on how specific and, ehem, detailed your list is) they might not be what you’d consider “quality material.” Now you have to wonder where on earth do you find quality men/women that are worth investing your time and effort so that then you can start thinking whether or not they are the “right one.” Well, I won’t tell you where (at least not in this article) to find quality people, but I can tell you WHAT quality people, and specifically “quality men” are looking for in a woman.
But before I tell you WHAT “quality men” are looking for, you might be wondering who and what is a “quality man.” Let’s define “him:” (FYI “your quality man” might have all or even more than the following characteristics, see if you agree with me). A quality man is someone who is responsible, kind, thoughtful, decent, faithful, who can commit, who can maintain a relationship, who is a good role model, who takes care of himself, who takes care of you, who has a job (believe me, this is important), someone who makes you laugh, who supports you, admires you, respects you, who loves you… Oh boy! With all those requisites… can you actually find quality men anywhere?? Do they exist? Hehehe Of course they do. I have the amazing luck and blessing to have one as my partner. They are out there, but certainly they are hard to find.
So now, let’s say you are looking for a quality man (if you have one, you better hold on to him, otherwise there are a lot of women out there who will want YOUR quality man and who will just be waiting for the moment you lose him); then, what is “this man” looking for in a woman? How can you show him that you too are a “quality woman?” Obviously, just as you have your “list of expectations and requisites,” “quality men” also seek particularly and specifically some characteristics that are applicable only to that man. Nonetheless there are some common characteristics that this type of man find most desirable.
Here are 5 POSITIVE characteristics that QUALITY MEN seek in a woman:
1. A woman who is intelligent and well rounded. Really? Yes really. Men do like to have intellectual equals. Women’s perspectives are always interesting (if I may say so) and when you can add your opinions and views to a variety of topics and subjects, it shows an exciting part of you. Women who can only talk about PMS and children are boring. No, I don’t have anything about these topics, of course, I PMS and I have two children! But if your man is discussing the Battle of Waterloo (WHY, don’t ask… just pretend here) and you think he is talking about the Steak House Restaurant down the street (yes there is a restaurant named so), yes, funny for a few minutes, not so much in the long run.
2. A woman who takes care of herself and prides on always looking her best. You don’t have to be size 2 or look like “x” or “y.” You don’t have to do your hair perfectly or wear make up 24/7. But do make sure you take care of yourself, eat well and healthy, exercise; wear clothes that fit you and compliment your figure and shape (no matter your size). I think one of the biggest mistakes that women make is that they get to TOO comfortable in their own skin; too comfortable that they start crossing into the frumpy, lazy, disarranged side. AND no, no excuses! Having children doesn’t give you a “free-pass-permit” to look like you are a bag of potatoes! Unless you want your partner to start thinking about Cindy Crawford (why her? Just humor me, hehe) while he is with you, DO NOT LET your self “go.”
3. A positive role model. You don’t have to be a saint. You don’t have to be perfect either. But making good choices, helping others, being compassionate and caring, having good values and morals speaks volumes of who you are. Quality men do seek a woman who is some one worthy of admiring and even imitating. Even more so if this man has children, he will want a partner who sets a good example to his and her own children.
4. A woman with a good sense of humor. Now, hear me out. We women are or can be very sensible and sensitive (I can see my beau nodding his head). I guess that is our nature. Right. Bu sometimes we take ourselves too seriously and we get caught up in a too-business-like-world. We need to learn to take a joke (as long as it’s not demeaning or disgusting, hehe). I’m not saying you need to let your “quality man” make fun of you. On the other hand, too often times most men do not have a sensitive-filter and can push their jokes too hard in which case, you are totally allowed to either punch them or give them a guilt trip, hehe.
5. A woman who gives them “certain” freedom. Quality men look for women who are secure and self-sufficient. A quality man appreciates and values a woman who is not constantly checking on him, asking where he was, who he was with, etc. I am sure you like to hear what your man did on “x” day, who he was with, what was the best part of his day, what did his boss do, and so on. But sharing and communicating is very different than “sitting him on the interrogation chair.” You do not have to breath down his neck all the time. Moreover, if you have a quality man, you really do not even have to wonder, doubt, or worry at all. So if he enjoys exercising out doors, or grabbing a bite with friends once in a while, or watching a sport. Let him. He will appreciate it.
Ok, so there you have it. Now, conversely, here are 4 NEGATIVE characteristics that QUALITY men DO NOT find attractive:
1. A fragile princess. The days of princess and dragons are well over. Yes, it is nice when your man kills a spider for you or changes your air conditioning filter. But he doesn’t want a woman who is useless and always scared of “breaking nails,” or who completely depends on him for everything. You are not a defenseless child. So if you know how to change a tire, or fix the bathroom sink, or lift 100 lbs. single-handed, go ahead, why not!! Show him your talents. Obviously, do not take it too far; if you need help, do ask for it.
2. A blabbermouth. Yes this is specifically for women (although there are some men who match the best women talkers). Most of us women enjoy talking, but some women talk non-stop, always, talking, no rest. For many men, women who talk a lot are a deterrent. It conveys that if a woman talks that much, she might not take the time to listen or simply that she won’t take the time to have some quiet and peace. Hint: Most men enjoy quiet and peace.
3. A clingy and desperate being. Women who are like this, besides being annoying, show a lack of security and self-esteem. These women show no independence at all. How would you like to be asphyxiated and overwhelmed with annoyance? I am sure you don’t and you wouldn’t. If you are desperate to find a partner, all men, and particularly “quality men” do notice your desperation. And believe me, they will run away from you. Okay, here is a visual: remember the Warner Bros. cartoon where the black cat was always chased by the French Skunk Pepe Le Pu and she was always running frantically in the opposite direction? There you have it, except that the roles are reversed, yep, you are the skunk! (in a most respectful way for sure, hehe).
4. A hypochondriac complainer. I have known and met, I am sure you have to, many women (yes, you can find men who complain too) who are absolutely and overwhelmingly fastidious as they are always complaining about something. In the case of women, they might complain about their health, their children, their work, they are always tired, they don’t feel well, they don’t like the gifts their partners give them, they have headaches, it’s too hot or too cold and add infinitum. Not cute. Don’t get me wrong, it is more than okay to express when you don’t like something or if you are not feeling well. But I am talking here about women who are never content with what they have, where they are at, who they are with, or how others do things. How annoying is that! Nobody wants a complainer for a partner. Nobody.
All right, do you have the first 5 characteristics or do you have some (or all) of the negative characteristics? Not to worry, there is always hope. Think about how you can ameliorate the negative but increase the positive.
And for goodness-sake! If you have a quality man in your life, DO NOT, I repeat, do not, let him go ----forget what I said about giving him freedom!! Just hang on to him, hehe…. I know I totally am.
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