I have four children; they are not close in age except the last two. The oldest is out of the house in college. I don’t feel like I treat them any different, but they may not think so. It is very hard to give of yourself to multiple people, even your children. They each have a different personality and do things at a different pace. Some of them may know how to push your buttons and then some may never test you at all.

But no matter what you have to remain consistent. This can be easier said then done. It is very hard to balance your time especially when you have children of various ages. But like anything it is not impossible. The children must also learn they must share your time with their siblings. This is a hard concept for me as I am an only child and had to share nothing with no one. But I have figured out a way to manage my children and their time with me despite that. I spend individual time with them doing an activity they like or I choose. I then spend time with them as a group doing the same. I also have them do activities together.

The most important goal for me is making sure they understand no matter what I am doing if they need me I am there. They can talk to me about anything and I will do my best to help them with their concern or problem. The hardest issue for me with my children is fighting with each other. As with anyone when you spend most of your time with a person they may tend to do things to bother you. I feel like this is attention seeking and handling it is not always easy. They need to learn to respect each others feelings and personal space. I truly feel like children who get along well in their home will get along well with others outside the home as well.

I do not like to spank my children but there may be times when that is necessary. To me I want them to understand why it is not right to pick on each other as oppose to just spanking them because of it. They won’t necessarily get spanked when they grow up for picking on another person (well not in the same sense anyway). Sometimes taking something away or not letting them go to an activity or have friends over will work way better then just spanking them. It’s not much fun to be isolated in your room with nothing to do then to get spanked and go right back to what you were doing. But each parent is different and you do what works for your child.

My hope for my children is that they understand how important they are to me and to each other. That they will always stick together and be there for each other when they are needed. If you instill in them the importance of family when they are young they will follow through with it when they grow up and have a family of their own. You are the one they look up to; you are the one they want to be like.

I have always likes the motto: Lead by example. If you do this and lead them a certain way they will follow whether it is good or bad, you are the one who controls that. Some children may be stronger willed then others but you as the parent must lead and continue to be consistent and they will fall in line or jump ship as soon as they get the chance. But always remember no matter what happens if you know you have done your best you can not feel guilt for their failures. You should always be there to encourage them to keep their heads up and keep moving forward.