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You loved your wife with all your heart. You still do – you think. It seems that the passionate love you felt for her all those years ago has faded a little bit. It's gotten more comfortable. In some ways, it's better – less volatile. But, you really miss the old days when you could barely keep your hands off one another. Now you feel like you're lucky to get a backrub. What's changed in your relationship and how do you get what you had before back? All you can think about is: "How do we get our love for each other back to how it was?"
That's a good question. Unfortunately, it's one that many couples ask more than once during the course of the marriages and/or relationships. You want that old feeling back. You want the newness and mystery back. You'd be happy for just a taste of it once in a while. You know you still love your wife but there are days when she feels so far away that you think you'll never be able to hold her again. It's a hard thing for relationships to go through but it isn't the end for the two of you. It isn't even the beginning of the end. It's just one of the many valleys you'll go through during your time together.
That doesn't make it much easier to endure when you're going through it though. It's even harder today when there is the constant connectivity and people are more in touch with each other than ever before. In some ways, it makes you feel even less connected than ever before. All you want is the opportunity to really reach out and touch someone special. The only problem is you're in the same room and your arms just don't feel long enough. You feel like you need to do something now to save your relationship you just have no idea what that something is.
Here are a few great ideas to get you started so you can begin to feel the love in your relationship all over again.
- Plan a romantic (tech free) getaway for just the two of you. It may take a few sacrifices to make it happen but you both need the time away and you need to not take no for an answer.
- Pencil in 15 minutes, three times a week for kissing, cuddling, and caressing – NO SEX. It might feel a little awkward at first but it won't take long for this important "alone" time to really have you looking for alone time later on.
- Be affectionate when you're not trying to have sex. If you give little tokens or words of affection without the intention of initiating sex it goes a long way towards keeping the relationship happy, healthy, and well sated – sexually. Try it – you'll like what you see!
The love you have for each other isn't hiding under a rock. It may have withered a bit due to misplaced priorities and lack of attention on both your parts. When you take these simple steps you can save your relationship and even get your ex back. Just make sure you have a plan in place to keep things going once you get things back on track.
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